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Song Parodies -> "Sixteen Tats"

Original Song Title:

"Sixteen Tons"

Original Performer:

Tennessee Ernie Ford

Parody Song Title:

"Sixteen Tats"

Parody Written by:

Rod Worden

The Lyrics

Is it me, or have we been seeing more of this guy lately..?
Some... people say a man is made outta muck
A moron's made outta graphics that suck
No skin left, for those tats so fine
If brains were trains then I missed mine

I got sixteen tats, they cover my face
Would'a done more but ain't got the space
I got muscle for brains, a scent so wrong
An A-WOL neck and a breath that's strong

I... was bored one mornin' and not feelin' so fine
I picked up a bottle and I chugged some cheap wine
I got sixteen tats o' knives, numbers 'n dice
Had to shave my head, lose most of my lice

Yeah sixteen tats on a beer-soaked mug
Not the kinda guy you wanna slap 'n hug
I got gristle for brains, sweat that's strong
A pig-haired back, I don't get along..

I... get up each mornin' in the afternoon
Trailer lookin' like it went through a typhoon
My digs are a dump so take a big fat hike
I got crude tats, I ride a fresh-stole bike

I get sixteen tats each time I go in
Got a big iron cross on top of my chin
Each knuckle is named, my biceps, too
My teeth are green and my tats are blue

When... they see me comin' eyes get big and wide
Then suddenly shift and look preoccupied
Got a face o' barbed wire lackin' arty skill
If the tats don't scare ya, my tourettes damn will

I got sixteen tats on my face 'n head
Words across my brow say: "Y'all Drop Ded!"
Each knuckle is named, my biceps, too
My teeth are green and my tats are blue

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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 5

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
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 2   0
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 3   0
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 4   0
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 5   5
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User Comments

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Kali - September 29, 2014 - Report this comment
Glad you inked this, 555 more trips to the chair!
Patrick - September 29, 2014 - Report this comment
This guy sounds like half the population of Wyandotte County, Kansas. When did folks suddenly decide that it was fun to have words permanently inked on their necks? Women in halter tops and low cut shirts that look like some gang banger grafittied their back? I've seen the barbed wire across the chest of an otherwise semi-respectable looking woman at an art exhibit. My favorites are the ones who have Chinese characters tattooed on their arms. Someday I hope they walk into a Chinese restaurant and a staff member tells them what those artistic-looking symbols really mean.
Rod - September 29, 2014 - Report this comment
Kali and Patrick, thanks for your feedback.
TJC - September 30, 2014 - Report this comment
Loved it! Lots of great lines with 'tourettes' my fav!
Rod - October 01, 2014 - Report this comment
TJC, thanks. Your stuff is amazing.
Dave W - October 02, 2014 - Report this comment
Colorful imagery and rhyming.....Wouldn't doubt if someone has a parody on their skin - with a 555 too.........
Rod - October 03, 2014 - Report this comment
Thanks Dave, and I agree. So many tatted-over-the-top boneheadz out here (CA) have so many that they're indeed walking parodies of themselves. .

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