Some say a funnyman is made outta jokes
A bad one's covered with cabbage and yokes
Cabbage and yokes, run down his face
An act that's a-weak and a shaky pace

You tell sixteen puns, and what do you get
Another crowd colder, another bad set
Saint Henny, don't you call me out on that floor
I just can't score at the Comedy Store

I was born one evenin' when I got on the stage
My jokes were all funny and I started a rage
I told 'em sixteen puns of comedy gold
Then my act got stale, and my jokes got old

You tell sixteen puns, and what do you get
Another loud heckler who isn't done yet
Saint Benny, don't you call me, cause I can't score
A decent roll at the Comedy Store

I was on one evenin', I was feelin' whacked
Stiller and Meara were the starrin' act
I was pulled off the stage and told to pack up my stuff
And even Jerry Stiller said-a "that's enough"

You tell sixteen puns, and what do you get
Another hack comic who says you're all wet
Saint Lenny, don't you book me, in here no more
I'm out the door of the Comedy Store

If you steal my jokes, that's-a suicide
A lotta men told 'em and a lotta men died
One "mother-in-law", one "boss from hell"
If the "wife" one don't kill ya, then the "fart" one will

You tell sixteen puns, and what do you get
I'm eighty years old but not givin' up yet
Saint Gracie, introduce me, cause here I go
Another show at the Comedy Store