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Song Parodies -> "I Wanna Punt Gun!"

Original Song Title:

"I Wanna Have Fun!"

Original Performer:


Parody Song Title:

"I Wanna Punt Gun!"

Parody Written by:

Robert D. Arndt Jr.

The Lyrics

Punt guns were enormous shotguns used to hunt waterfowl in the 19th and early 20th Centuries. They were so heavy that they were normally attached to small boats called punts and the boats were then pointed as birds resting on the water’s surface: Punt guns were usually custom-designed and so varied widely, but could have bore diameters exceeding 2 inches (51 mm) and fire over a pound (0.5 kilos) of shot at a time. A single shot could kill over 50 waterfowl resting on the water’s surface. They were too big to hold and the recoil so large that they were mounted directly on the punts used for hunting, hence their name. Hunters would maneuver their punts quietly into line and range of the flock using poles or oars to avoid startling them. Generally the gun was fixed to the punt; thus the hunter would maneuver the entire boat in order to aim the gun. The guns were sufficiently powerful, and the punts themselves sufficiently small, that firing the gun often propelled the punt backwards several inches or more. To improve efficiency, hunters could work in fleets of up to around ten punts. The practice faded as wild waterfowl stocks were depleted. It was eventually banned in the United States, athough it may still be legal in the UK.
I wanna Punt Gun!
I wanna Punt Gun!
Not a shotgun!
Not a shotgun!

Sitting on the water
It’s such a lovely day
Gun with large caliber
Pound-a-shot on the way!

Gonna sneak up on ‘em
Quiet as can be
Waterfowl is restin’
Quick victory!

I wanna Punt Gun!
I wanna Punt Gun!
Not a shotgun!
Not a shotgun!

The boats are all aligned
We’ve assembled a Fleet
Guns firing at same time
Lots of waterfowl to eat!

Banned in the USA
No use against waterfowl
But not in the UK
Where fox-hunting dogs still howl!

I wanna Punt Gun!
I wanna Punt Gun!
Not a shotgun!
Not a shotgun!

Never had so much fun!!!
Never had so much fun!!!
Shooting the huge Punt Gun!
Shooting the huge Punt Gun!

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Voting Results

Pacing: 4.5
How Funny: 4.8
Overall Rating: 4.5

Total Votes: 6

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
 2   1
 3   0
 4   0
 5   5

User Comments

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Patrick - March 13, 2012 - Report this comment
Saw a video of one of these being fired at a wall covered with clay targets. I like black powder smoke. I tend to load smaller cartridges like .32 & .38. A punt gun would wipe out most of the birds in my county with one shot. I could imagine some golf courses in the metro area would like to borrow one to deal with the geese.
Rob Arndt - March 13, 2012 - Report this comment
I did black powder for a while in the 1990s. Owned a Navy Arms .50 cal and a perfect replica (made in Italy) Brown Bess with a custom sling and the foot-long bayonet- stood higher than me!!! She was a real beauty and I never fired her as Collector. She was kept in a felt-lined case and later sold for a profit. Black powder puts up quite a bit of smoke and I hated digging the 2oz lead balls out of trees! There was also a chance of cook-off a couple of times...
Patrick - March 14, 2012 - Report this comment
Just saw a Brown Bess replica yesterday. Very impressive length. I once shot a flintlock from the hip because I was afraid of having the flash from the lock near my face. I remember the rust running down the barrel from breech to muzzle almost as fast as it took for the smoke to clear.

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