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Song Parodies -> "Prime Minister Tony"

Original Song Title:

"Dear Officer Krupke"

Parody Song Title:

"Prime Minister Tony"

Parody Written by:

Phil Alexander

The Lyrics

A tale about the Labour Party's current cash for honours sleazefest
Dramatis Personae
Deputy Assistant Commissioner Yates of the Yard
Tony Blair (Prime Minister)
Lord Levy (Labour Party fundraiser extraordinaire)
Ruth Turner (political advisor, Tony Blair's "gatekeeper")

Angus MacNeil (SNP MP who kicked off the whole saga)
Norman Baker (LibDem MP)
David Cameron (Eton toff and Tory leader)

Donors (oops, I mean "lenders"), including:
Chai Patel
Sir Christopher Evans
Sir David Garrard
Barry Townsley

Various members of the press and other news media
[Yates of the Yard]
Dear Prime Minister Tony
You gotta understand
Your gettin' in the money
Looks mighty underhand
Your party's getting moolah
With loans from volunteers
Golly Moses, then they're all made peers

[Yates of the Yard and Press]
Prime Minister Tony, we've gotta be sure
'Cause getting cash for peerages is breaking the law
It ain't just illegal
It's sleazy and so
Come on and tell us what you know

[Angus MacNeil]
What d'you know?

What you know, what you know
'Cause we need to know
Tell us, Tony, what is it you know?

[Tony Blair (spoken)]: I knew nothing at all about it

[Lord Levy (Spoken)]: Let me tell it to the world!

[Yates of the Yard (Spoken)]: Just tell it to the police.

[Yates of the Yard]
Dear Lord "Fundraiser" Levy
Did you hand out rewards
To friends and high achievees
By making lenders lords?
They wanted recognition
Not to be recognized
Leapin' lizards! That's why they're despised

[Lord Levy (Spoken)]: What?

[The Daily Torygraph]
Prime Minister Tony, you really for real?
Expecting us to think you didn't know the whole deal
It's yet one more question you cannot avoid
Look: that policeman is annoyed

[Yates of the Yard]
I'm annoyed!

He's annoyed, we're annoyed
We are all annoyed
'Cause another question you'll avoid

[Judge (spoken)]: In the opinion on this court, the names of the people concerned should be revealed

[Sir Christopher Evans (spoken)]: I don't want to be revealed

[Yates (spoken)]: You're nicked, sonny

[Yates of the Yard]
Chai Patel "loaned" a million
So did Ecclestone, B.
They needed a gazillion
Sir Dave "loaned" 2.3
And Townsley loaned another
Ennobled for largesse?
Goodness gracious, ain't it such a mess!

[Press]: Yes!
Prime Minister Tony, how will you afford
To repay the loaned money of these wannabe lords?
If they are donations, they should be declared
These guys do not want to look bad

[Yates of the Yard]
They look bad!

It looks bad! You look bad
They look bad! Bad! Bad!
You're the worst Prime Minister we've had

[Yates (spoken)]: Somebody must have been covering up, and attempting to pervert the course of justice!

[Ruth Turner (spoken)]: I didn't attempt any perversion!

[Yates (spoken)]: Arrest the pervert!

[Yates of the Yard]
Dear Ruth "Gatekeeper" Turner
I bet you hadn't guessed
Your lovely little earner
Would earn you an arrest
I ain't wanting a knighthood
To take a little pawn
Tee hee, Ruthie - raid your house at dawn

[Jeremy Paxman (for it is he)]
Prime Minister Tony, you've done it again.
This woman who's arrested is your personal friend
These donors you cannot have misunderstood
From here, it doesn't look too good

[Yates of the Yard]
Don't look good!

Don't look good! Don't look good
This does not look good
Nice and sleazy - no, it don't look good

[Tony Blair]
The money is... disrupting

[Gordon Brown]
The money is a jinx

[Vladimir Putin]
The money is corrupting

[Angus MacNeil]
The money, well it stinks

[Lord Levy]
The money, it is needed

[The public]
The money is obscene

Tony makes Neil Hamilton look clean

Prime Minister Tony
It's time to go, please
'Cause no one wants a PM who's been tainted with sleaze
Prime Minister Tony
We do not care how
Go, Minister Tony
Go now!

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Matches Pace of
Original Song: 
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Voting Results

Pacing: 3.0
How Funny: 3.1
Overall Rating: 3.1

Total Votes: 19

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   9
 2   0
 3   0
 4   2
 5   8

User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

Phil Alexander - April 24, 2007 - Report this comment
Just noticed I got the song title wrong... it is, of course, "Gee, Officer Krupke". Obviously, it must have been someone that insulted by this egregious error who voted 1s. I mean, it couldn't possibly have been a fan of Tony.. could it?
TJC - April 24, 2007 - Report this comment
I know just enough about British politics to dig this wonderfully crafted hoot! (will 555 pounds get me peerage (or steerage) class?
alvin - April 24, 2007 - Report this comment
a wonderful bit of infotainment
MarthaDTox - April 24, 2007 - Report this comment
Excellent Phil Loved it!!
Kristof Robertson - April 25, 2007 - Report this comment
Nice take on the whole sleazy saga, Phil. The sooner old Tone leaves, the better. 555
Lucy Branston's Great-Granddaughter - April 25, 2007 - Report this comment
I don't know the original, but I like this version. I hope your lyrics have a quicker effect on his departure than my anti-Blair song did last year.
Clairejen - February 28, 2008 - Report this comment
Great parody, and isn't it amazing how many peerage purchasers vote on amiright?

The author of the parody has authorized comments, and wants YOUR feedback.

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