Song Parodies -> "All I Want For Christmas Is My Two Front Teats"

Original Song Title:

"All I Want For Christmas Is My Two Front Teeth"

^(MP3)

Original Performer:

"All I Want For Christmas Is My Two Front Teats"

Parody Written by:

The Lyrics

The words and lyrics for All I Want For Christmas Is My Two Front Teeth are by Don Gardner. The first publication of the Christmas song All I Want For Christmas Is My Two Front Teeth was in 1946. The words of the Christmas song were parodied in the UK in the sixties, at the height of Beatlemania, when when a British comedienne named Dora Bryan recorded "All I want for Christmasis a Beatle". Every generation there appears to have a humorous Christmas song released like All I Want For Christmas Is My Two Front Teeth. One cannot help wonder what future generations will make of the lyrics! Well, here's what the culture brings us now.

Hey, my body causes dispair in me,
Got two front teats that you can't see.
It's really such a shame I don't have mamaries!
I feel punished this Christmas Eve I'm as plain as I can be.

All I want for Christmas
is my two front teats,
Want my mammaries,
Not some sham-ery.

Gee, I look so homely,
I'm a guy beneath,
Soon's my sex change due,
I'll be Mrs.

It seems my dong gets in the way,
Want to build a silo, lose a missle.
Gosh oh gee, how happy I'd be,
To get a brand new whistle.

All I want for Christmas
is my two front teats,
Want my mammaries,
Not some sham-ery.

Gee, I look so homely,
I'm a guy beneath,
Soon's my sex change comes,
I'll be Mrs.

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User Comments

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Adagio - December 06, 2003 - Report this comment

I really liked this one, Guy! 5's (I thought it was about something else)

Johnny D - December 06, 2003 - Report this comment

Good work Guy.....I'm all for, ah, things getting bigger and better.....;-D

Diva - December 06, 2003 - Report this comment

I like it! You really did your homework !

Know 1 can hear you dream - December 07, 2003 - Report this comment

555 wet T-shirts for this (those?)! ;-)

Guy - December 09, 2003 - Report this comment

Pat what did you think it was about? Johnny - Does size really matter? Diva, that info at the top was with the parody lyrics that I found when I wrote this. Only the last line is my own. Just thought it was interesting so I put it with the song. And thanks Know 1 - That reminds me, I have to take my socks and underwear out of the washer and put them into the dryer. ;-)

Adagio - December 09, 2003 - Report this comment

Guy...at first I just thought it was about a woman increasing breast size, then I found out what it really was...

Guy - December 11, 2003 - Report this comment

Hmmm, never thought of that angle.

Nutty Bird - October 09, 2017 - Report this comment

Played bully with the kid next door got punched in the kisser now you'll need your two front teeth go see the dentists his name is Hermy he is a elf

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