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Song Parodies -> "J. K. Rowling's a B**ch"

Original Song Title:

"Kyle's Mom's a B**ch"

Original Performer:

South Park

Parody Song Title:

"J. K. Rowling's a B**ch"

Parody Written by:


The Lyrics

All right, I'm a "Harry Potter" fan (or "Potterphile" if you prefer). However, while the first four books rocked, the fifth was not-so-good, the sixth sucked, and the seventh was by far the worst. Unfortunately, someone forgot to tell Joanne Kathleen Rowling that her series was over, thus all the extra information she keeps spewing. I've been annoyed with her for quite some time, but her most recent "revelation" prompted me to finally write this.
Well, J. K. Rowling's a b**ch
She's a big-mouthed b**ch
She's the biggest b**ch in the whole wide world
She's a stupid b**ch
If there ever was a b**ch
She's a b**ch to all the boys and girls.

Devoted fan (spoken): Shut up! She's great, she's wonderful, she's ...

Her last book blew chunks
And she won't shut up
She tried to persuade us all were straight
Then most recently, just for publicity,
She told us Albus Dumbledore, well he ain't!

Spoken: C'mon, you all know the words!

Have you ever met J. K. Rowling?
She's the biggest b**ch in the whole wide world,
Her writing's subpar,
And she's a media-whore
She's a self-contradicting b**ch, b**ch, b**ch

B**ch, b**ch, b**ch, b**ch,
B**ch, b**ch, b**ch, b**ch,
She's a stupid b**ch,
J. K.'s a b**ch and she's such a bloody b**ch.

Spoken: Talk to kids around the world, it might go a little bit something like this.

(Translations in French, Bulgarian, Japanese, and Italian)

Have you ever met J. K. Rowling?
She's the biggest b**ch in the whole wide world,
Her writing's subpar,
She's an attention-whore
She's a character-wrecking b**ch, b**ch, b**ch

B**ch, b**ch, b**ch, b**ch,
B**ch, b**ch, b**ch, b**ch,
She's a stupid b**ch,
J. K.'s a b**ch and she's such a bloody b**ch.

I really mean it
J. K.
She's a big-mouthed, stupid b**ch!
A big stupid bloody b**ch, J. K., yeah!
Honestly Jo, get it through your thick skull that your series is over! And fans will always interpret your characters as they see fit, no matter what you write or say (especially if it's not written in the actual books).

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Matches Pace of
Original Song: 
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Voting Results

Pacing: 3.4
How Funny: 3.9
Overall Rating: 3.9

Total Votes: 29

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   5
 2   0
 3   8
 4   11
 5   5

User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

Leprechaun - October 23, 2007 - Report this comment
i like J.K. Rowling
Syncronos, Member of the Lestrange Family in the House of Slytherin - October 23, 2007 - Report this comment
Don't hate...appreciate. Anyone who has inspired all these people to read deserves to be honored. Plus...her books ROCK, so quit hatin'!
Kristof Robertson - October 23, 2007 - Report this comment
Why the vitriol, Borghilde? For future reference, hate-parodies don't ever come off as well as the author intended. If you want to "get" someone, you've got to be clever, subtle, and most of all, funny. Sorry, but this doesn't cut it.
Max Power - October 23, 2007 - Report this comment
Sorry but the 7th is the best.
Lili - October 23, 2007 - Report this comment
Let's see, not only did she do what you describe in the song, but here's something else she said, and I quote: "The Potter books in general are a prolonged argument for tolerance, a prolonged plea for an end to bigotry, and I think it's one of the reasons that some people don't like the books..." Basically, she said that people who don't like her books are bigots. Which makes this song all the more fitting for her.
Agrimorfee - October 24, 2007 - Report this comment
Halfway thorugh #7, but I gotta say Goblet of Fire is still my fave.
Cthulhu. Ia! Ia! - October 24, 2007 - Report this comment
christie - November 04, 2007 - Report this comment
Between what you mentioned in the song, what Lili mentioned, saying fans shouldn't get upset over a certain character's death because said character wasn't human (yet should get upset over a human character we had heretofore not really known the existence of), not really making up her mind on a certain controversial character, trying to make fans utterly dislike certain characters (as if she hadn't done that enough in the last two books themselves), suing that festival (is she gonna sue some kid's birthday party next?), and suing that fan... yeah, I'll say she's a big fat stupid b---h!
tina a - December 30, 2007 - Report this comment
It's only gotten worse, I'm afraid. She really is a b**ch, that's all I'm going to say.
l b - January 15, 2008 - Report this comment
I just don't get all the love for this woman anyway. She's just some mediocre writer who got lucky. Granted, I used to be among her biggest fans, but the quality of the last few books vs the first few (the newer ones were unedited because she got "too big", so I've heard) and her recent behavior has proven my "mediocre writer who got lucky" point.
asdf - November 21, 2010 - Report this comment
You should have found a way to talk more about what parts of this stories you didn't like.

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