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Song Parodies -> "Getting Duffed Up By A Wraith"
Original Song Title:
"There Is Nothin' Like A Dame"
Original Performer:
South Pacific Soundtrack
Parody Song Title:
"Getting Duffed Up By A Wraith"
Parody Written by:
Kristof Robertson
The Lyrics
My entry into Matthias's "Lord Of The Dance": A Lord Of The Rings Musical. The scene: the hobbits are corned on Weathertop by the Black Riders and Frodo is spiked....
[FRODO]
In The Shire we had beer
In The Shire we had grass
Now on Weathertop I'm sittin'
Scratchin' my small, hairy ass
We got Samewise cookin' sausage
On a campfire, ablaze
Oh, f*** a duck!
Just saw four wraiths!
They have cloaks of blackest black
And their hearts are full of sin
With their bodies all skeletal
They look like that Olsen twin
Little Pippin's in a panic
And Merry's messed his pants
What ain't we got?
A freakin' chance!
Strider says to me "You ought to have some faith, kid
We're not gonna let the ring-bearer get wraith-ted"
[HOBBITS]
Getting duffed up by a wraith
Screaming like a girl
Thpray him in the fathe with mathe
And you may jutht ethcape that wraith!
[FRODO]
I got pok-ed, I got stabbed
Skewered like a shish kebab
If I don't get medication
I'll be toe-tagged on a slab
Strider set one creep on fire, like
Jacko in that Pepsi ad
He asks how I feel
Well, duh.feel bad!
Hobbit mates are loyal and dutiful, but brother
They have no particular skill, and are no use whatsoever
When wraiths appear, watch them run 'round screaming "MOTHER!"
Getting duffed up by a wraith
With his sword unfurled
Gandalf's really rather late
And my crew are all 3 foot 8!
[HOBBITS]
Men In Black, but not Will Smaith (Smaith??)
Feel sick, wanna hurl
[FRODO]
I need weed, maybe an eighth
That will drain the pain caused by wraiths
[SAM]
What a wonder-fully woeful wanker: wraith, wathte of spathe!
[FRODO]
Suddenly an elf arrives
A fair maiden with the works
Clutches me to her firm bosom
(I guess dying has its perks!)
So to Rivendell we'll scurry
And although I'm filled with fear
I'm thankful that she's sans-brassiere!
[RINGWRAITHS]
Damn! The Halfling got away
We'll kick his butt a-nother day!
{Ringwraiths form a high-kicking chorus line, including the one on fire}
We've got no souls; we are wraiths
Undead as$holes; we are wraiths
The ring we crave; we are wraiths
We misbehave; we are wraiths
Sauron's gimps; we are wraiths
Hobbit shrimps will be wraiths
We've got a thing for death and doing great harm
Just like Dementors, without the charm
We're wrathful, wrongdoing, wretched, wrampaging WRAITHS!!
{JAZZ HANDS}
In The Shire we had beer
In The Shire we had grass
Now on Weathertop I'm sittin'
Scratchin' my small, hairy ass
We got Samewise cookin' sausage
On a campfire, ablaze
Oh, f*** a duck!
Just saw four wraiths!
They have cloaks of blackest black
And their hearts are full of sin
With their bodies all skeletal
They look like that Olsen twin
Little Pippin's in a panic
And Merry's messed his pants
What ain't we got?
A freakin' chance!
Strider says to me "You ought to have some faith, kid
We're not gonna let the ring-bearer get wraith-ted"
[HOBBITS]
Getting duffed up by a wraith
Screaming like a girl
Thpray him in the fathe with mathe
And you may jutht ethcape that wraith!
[FRODO]
I got pok-ed, I got stabbed
Skewered like a shish kebab
If I don't get medication
I'll be toe-tagged on a slab
Strider set one creep on fire, like
Jacko in that Pepsi ad
He asks how I feel
Well, duh.feel bad!
Hobbit mates are loyal and dutiful, but brother
They have no particular skill, and are no use whatsoever
When wraiths appear, watch them run 'round screaming "MOTHER!"
Getting duffed up by a wraith
With his sword unfurled
Gandalf's really rather late
And my crew are all 3 foot 8!
[HOBBITS]
Men In Black, but not Will Smaith (Smaith??)
Feel sick, wanna hurl
[FRODO]
I need weed, maybe an eighth
That will drain the pain caused by wraiths
[SAM]
What a wonder-fully woeful wanker: wraith, wathte of spathe!
[FRODO]
Suddenly an elf arrives
A fair maiden with the works
Clutches me to her firm bosom
(I guess dying has its perks!)
So to Rivendell we'll scurry
And although I'm filled with fear
I'm thankful that she's sans-brassiere!
[RINGWRAITHS]
Damn! The Halfling got away
We'll kick his butt a-nother day!
{Ringwraiths form a high-kicking chorus line, including the one on fire}
We've got no souls; we are wraiths
Undead as$holes; we are wraiths
The ring we crave; we are wraiths
We misbehave; we are wraiths
Sauron's gimps; we are wraiths
Hobbit shrimps will be wraiths
We've got a thing for death and doing great harm
Just like Dementors, without the charm
We're wrathful, wrongdoing, wretched, wrampaging WRAITHS!!
{JAZZ HANDS}
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User Comments
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Not much into LOTR's things...but this reads rip-roaringly funny..top shelf 5's
three 5's for another good one Kris
excellent...jam packed with good lines...5s
LOL! "I'm thankful that she's sans-brassiere!" Damned straight...who needs 'em?? Excellent work here, KR...but you knew that I would love it...=)
Thanks a bunch, AFW, Carol, Al and Miss Evenstar...I had so much fun with this one, I might just do another!
Arwen, are you suggesting that you're a "bra-optional" elf? Good lord, I can't breathe....;-)
A great tribute Kristof, I was looking forward to this one ever since you mentioned it in the forum. And it was... a-wraith-ing!!!
Well...that's a touchy subject, Kristof. I will admit that they provide an important service...and some of them are very very cute and I've spent too much money on them from time to time...but...um...yeah, I suppose that's what I'm saying...
Sorry to hear about the breathing problem...do you need some mouth to mouth? ; )
Sorry to hear about the breathing problem...do you need some mouth to mouth? ; )
This one has a nice Ring to it. Guess it's a hard Hobbit to break. Love the references. And the skewered like a shishkabob. 5's
Excellent, as usual. Some wonderful imagery (especially the Olsen twin thought) :-)
Congratulations Kristof for making me want to know what the hell's going on with all these half-people (3 foot 8),hobbits and wraiths etc. for the first time - ah well, alas I remain out of the loop, but there were enough funny lines for me anyway! eg. Well, duh….feel bad! - LOL - 555
Nothin' like an Elf-gal's firm bosom to stiffen your resolve! 555!
ROTFL! Thith ith gweat!
Thanks Matthias (great idea), Tim, Phil, Stu (you WILL succumb...), JD (hehe) and Rex. Oh, and Arwen..yeth pleathe!!! ;-)
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