They sailed away with joys
Across the bounding main
Moms, Dads, and girls and boys
In tow, they're now detained
They should have stayed on shore
And just forgot this cruise
Conditions rough, had enough
They've got the ocean blues..

On the gross ship lollipoop
Not a sweet trip, nor a happy troop
Still one more day
Till they make it back to old Mobile Bay

Hear reports there's slime and grime
Sewage backs up all the time
Food lines, they're are
Careful Tom, that's not a chocolate bar..

On this great big bowl. four grand tootsies roll
Good news, not enough speed for wakes
They can't eat too - much, ooh, ooh
Few food breaks make for tummy aches

A bad scene fling on this cruise, by heck
Gives new mean-ing to the word, poopdeck
No more, no way
On a cruise ship, what a wreck!