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Song Parodies -> "Rarest of the Rare"

Original Song Title:

"Aviation Expert Despair!"

Original Performer:

Self-proclaimed Experts

Parody Song Title:

"Rarest of the Rare"

Parody Written by:

Robert D. Arndt Jr.

The Lyrics

This is a parody I wrote composed of individual aviation expert responses to my yearly challenge of rare aircraft photographic records arranged into song pattern! Since I am not operating off any of my former NGs and forums, the challenge is put up here for FUN ONLY!!! Although I have reached 614 parodies in 5 months and 15 days straight and am in my own 600 level category, I am searching for any aviation fans here who might want to try to find the rarest aircraft of WW2. My own site book listed below has well over 1000+ from WW2 (plus or mius a few years each way due to a/c under development before WW2 began and just before WW2 ended that became operational postwar or at least prototyped). This is for FUN. I am known worldwide for my knowledge of historical weapon systems and WW2, Third Reich, Female Bundeswehr, Disc Aircraft technology and history as well as a wide range of other obscure topics. For fans of aviation, enjoy and do some research. For the record I have over 22,000 aircraft displayed online in all my years on my NG and on various forums and sites. I have over 33,000 aircraft photos in my personal collection- more than most aviation museums!!! And to top it off I am only one of 10 men that have attempted complete historical WW2 German disc aircraft books in 56 years (since 1955): Major Lusar, Renato Vesco, Ernst Zundel, Justo Miranda, David Masters, Jim Marrs, W.A Harbinson, Nick Cook, and Henry Stevens. Other more modern German Secret Weapons writers either stay clear of that controversy or mention only a few designs. My online book has ALL KNOWN and debated German disc craft and world disc history making my work unique covering 1908-1945. Giesbert Nijhuis of the Netherlands completes the modern types from postwar 1947-2011 with the IFO Picture Library. I am featured there too in a minimal capacity due to my own massive work. That was my first site. On now to the rarest aircraft... disc craft excluded due to lack of space and controversy.
Have you ever wondered
What aircraft are the rarest of the rare?
All the “experts’ online
Seem baffled, ‘cause Rob Arndt is the MASTER,

Forum after forum
Site after site
I challenge them annually
And they can put up no real fight
(just try to ban me outright)

But what of those planes
That are documented, but never seen
‘Cause the photographic history has been lost,
Or just conveniently missing?
(USAAF/USAF/RAF misleading)

Here you go
Give it your best
But you’ll never pass
My ultimate test:

Starting with Britain
Supermarine B.12 Suffolk
Several were under construction
When the Luftwaffe reduced them to hulks
(of steel with jigs and plans up in smoke)

Two fuselage serials confirmed
But were they ever mated?
No one seems concerned…

The one with a wing seat bolted on
For the trainer to yell at the pilot
When he F--ked up his lesson!!!
(pictures taken)

And what about that Mosquito
With a 94mm cannon
Not too many actually made,
In fact only just the ONE!!!

In the USA,
One from Henry Ford
Chemurgian technology
Drawings of his plastic “Bird”
(“Green Arrow” was not developed due to hemp onboard)

Howard Hughes had his “Bloodhound” patent
Heavy twin-boom fighter-bomber
Now all of that is also lost
USAAF preferred P-38 last longer
(But not in ETO where Germans were stronger)

And then an Amerindian design
Indigenous fighter Kaw
Someone conveniently lost his patent
Surprising in the USA? Native American history-Nah!!!

In Russia Sukhoi had the “Black Ravens”
And the Taiga glider that was hidden
Germans discovered the latter in a forest
But the previous- Stalin’s purges got rid of them!
(Stalin hated Intellectual Men)

Now in Italy
The Macchi C.206 Tuono
Was being built for combat
Until the Allies did bomb it- Oh no!!!
(remains only 2 bombed photos)

The Regianne RE.2007
Was a modern jet fighter
Components were fabricated
Until they were discovered
(US stole them under cover)

Nakajima had the Ki-201 Karyu
There was also a Mansyu Ki-98
Both were under construction
But what of their fate?
(No photos to date)

But the biggest secrets lie
In Nazi Germany
They had so many mock-ups and designs
That remain in obscurity:

Heinkel had night fighters
He-319 and 419
One of the former, 7 of the latter
And yet not one ever seen

Heinkel also had the giant Odin
Transport to rival the Ju-322
Later Me-321/323
Design as far as it got, but missing since ‘42!

Hutter had an improved He-219
It was the Hu-211
Two under construction when bombed
The USAAF wrecked them!

Focke-Wulf and Messerschmitt
Had full-scale mock-ups
Fw-42 in ‘39 and Me P.1112 in ‘45
But neither of them show-up…

Messerschmitt had a night fighter
Was completed and untouched
Until a botched Me-262 landing
(All development photos are missing)

DFS had a Kameraflugzeug
Burned in the flames
Huttner had a powerful recon bird
That was the world’s largest steam plane
(Rotary boilers to 50,000 ft claimed)

Another unknown is Espenlaub
Repairing captured Allied types was his job
And yet no one has a single photo
Of his modular Jagdflugzeug

Spain built a combat biplane
It’s name was Fiora
Reputed faster than the CR.42DB
At 400 mph, one can’t ignore that!

In the Netherlands
To honor Goering
The Ontwerp 203
Basically a Fokker D.VII- modified locally
(construction began and then stopped suddenly)

These are just 25 examples
Of the rarest of the rare
Most were just prototypes
But perhaps a few got in the air.

There may be some drawings
Some crude attempt to display
But I seek the original photographs
That document these oddities.

No one has in six years met my challenge
Just weak “aviation expert” excuses
ATS, AHF, RC Groups, Secret Projects
Every site and forum useless!!!

And many, many, more,
For the "experts" to explore
or quite simply as is the case,
just ignore....

MY online book compilation, just one of 9 non-fiction military references and not counting my independent Star Wars trilogy fiction of 3 books:

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Total Votes: 5

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Model Maker - September 15, 2011 - Report this comment
Been makin' planes for decades. Some of your listed ones are indeed rare, but a lot of them I never even heard of before. Lots to google!!! Thanks!

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