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Song Parodies -> "The Bullpup EM2"

Original Song Title:

"I Put a Spell on You"

 (MP3)
Original Performer:

Screamin' Jay Hawkins

Parody Song Title:

"The Bullpup EM2"

Parody Written by:

Robert D. Arndt Jr.

The Lyrics

Back in 1945 Britain began experimenting with a bullpup rifle in the EM1 which was designed to eliminate the outdated .303 cartridge in favor of a 7x44mm (.280) cartridge good out to 1000 yrds where it was reasonably assumed that most combat would take place (in fact it is more like 300-600 yds). The design was compact but very complicated so by the late '40s the EM2 was the refined, simplified design. Gas blow-back selective-fire weapon with scope integrated with the carrying handle. Was very easy to shoot and handle, clean, and store. But NATO and the US rejected the idea as unsound. They preferred full power cartridges and by 1953 had decided on the 7.62x51mm cartridge as standard which the EM2 could not be modified for. The US basically upgraded the M-1 Garand into the M-14 and Europe went with the FN FAL (with Spain using Mauser's WW2 STG-45 as a guide to the CETME and then back to Germany as the HK G-3). Britain was forced to abandon the EM2 in '57 and equally went with the FAL before the bullpups SA-80 and SA-85 which share nothing with the EM series and are less reliable by direct comparison!
The bullpup EM2
ahead of time

.303 cal to remove
Tech applyin’
.280 tryin’

Was no demand for it
This newer round
1000 yards deadly
7mm broke new ground

[And bullpup configuration sound]

The bullpup EM2
ahead of time
In ‘49

Was no use
Was no use
Was no use
US/NATO refused
Bullpup snared
In bureaucracy
Chose 7-6-2

[Which was bad news]

All work ceased
The bullpup EM2
ahead of time
(Later, Britain chose the FAL beast)

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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 8

Voting Breakdown

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User Comments

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Patrick - October 30, 2012 - Report this comment
As a left hander, bull-pups never attracted me. I've heard the French and Austrian rifles could be modified for lefties (rifle shooting, not politics), but I would suspect that is not easy and the parts would be costly. The British rifles do have a poor reputation.
Rob Arndt - October 30, 2012 - Report this comment
The Steyr ACR was probably the most simplistic bullpup but was rejected. The AUG and FAMAS are awesome but the SA-series is plagued by problems and reliability under combat. I brought up the EM2 b/c it was a very good design- just too radical for the postwar world. Most people w/o firearms history knowledge also think this was the first military bullpup not knowing of the WW2 German and Soviet guns that were equally rejected.

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