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Song Parodies -> "Psychic Extremist Views"

Original Song Title:

"I Put a Spell on You"

 (MP3)
Original Performer:

Screamin' Jay Hawkins

Parody Song Title:

"Psychic Extremist Views"

Parody Written by:

Robert D. Arndt Jr.

The Lyrics

During the 1960s-80s the CIA conceived of a wide range of unorthodox military projects to combat actual or even perceived Soviet developments. Some of these like drug experimentation and telepathy were covered under "Extreme Blue Sky" categories. It was believed that the USSR/KGB was developing hostile telepathy for information extraction and so the CIA started a similar program but with a wild spin-off: Goat Staring. When it came to light that a civilian had stared a goat to death, the CIA immediately took up a project that would produce a "death stare" for killing enemy opponents. Psychics were recruited and livestock were used as test subjects. The rationale behind this was "just in case" the USSR got there first! It is unknown how extensive the program was but at least ONE goat was stared to death. Whether this was then tested against any humans is not known but apparently the program was cancelled due to a shift towards psychic remote viewing which is claimed to have yielded better results. Remote viewing covers vast distances and valuable Intel can be gathered on strategic targets w/o leaving the US. The CIA in a claimed report to a US President (unnamed) was said to contain the message that the human mind is the most powerful weapon and someday psychic infantry would go into combat with hostile telepathic capabilities, the rifle a thing of the past!!! So far, it is obvious that that tech went nowhere...
Psychic extremist views
use of mind

“Extreme Blue Sky” was mental tool
Death glare tryin’
Left one goat dyin’

CIA handled it
Rationale not sound
Telepathy handy
But “Death Stare” science was a let-down

[The livestock testing broke no new ground]

Psychic extremist views
use of mind
Wasted time

Lame excuse
Lame excuse
Lame excuse
US race “Just in case”
It led nowhere
Rivaled the crazy
Soviet pace

Lunacy
Psychic extremist views
use of mind
(Remote viewing became priority)

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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 7

Voting Breakdown

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User Comments

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Patrick - October 17, 2012 - Report this comment
How can you stare a goat to death? Well, I just looked in the mirror, and now I'm not sure that's completely impossible. What won't the government waste our money on next?
Rob Arndt - October 17, 2012 - Report this comment
The old "flaming pig" idea was also tossed around for modern times but the CIA decided to surgically implant bombs in animals instead. Israel used explosive goats against Hezbollah!!!
Meriadoc - October 17, 2012 - Report this comment
Well, I seem to recall that Samson set a bunch of foxes on fire to burn the Philistines' wheat fields.... But I don't think he did it by staring at them...

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