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Song Parodies -> "The "Flying Dorito""

Original Song Title:

"I Put a Spell on You"

 (MP3)
Original Performer:

Screamin' Jay Hawkins

Parody Song Title:

"The "Flying Dorito""

Parody Written by:

Robert D. Arndt Jr.

The Lyrics

The the late 1980s the GD + McD A-12 Avenger II was a USN/Marine project intended to be an all-weather, carrier-based stealth bomber replacement for the A-6 Intruder. The mockups of the craft revealed a flying wing design in the shape of an isosceles triangle, with the torpedo cockpit situated near the apex of the triangle with engine inlets buried underneath. The aircraft was designed to have two General Electric F412-GE-D5F2 turbofans, each producing about 13,000 lb thrust, and was equipped to carry: 2x AIM-120 AMRAAM missiles, 2x AGM-88 HARMs and a full complement of air-to-ground ordnance, including Mk 82 bombs, or smart bombs, in an internal weapons bay. Crew of 2, low thrust non-afterburning engines, speed of under 600 mph, slow climb of 5000 fpm, ceiling of just 40,000 ft, and range of under 1000 miles. In other words, WW2 performance of German jets. The A-12 gained the nickname "Flying Dorito" due to its shape. However, the aircraft suffered numerous technical problems throughout its development, especially with the materials, and when the projected cost of each aircraft rose to an estimated US$165 million, the project was canceled by then-Secretary of Defense, Dick Cheney, in January 1991. After the cancellation of the A-12, the Navy elected to buy the F/A-18E/F Super Hornet, which replaced the A-7, the A-6, and the F-14. In the 21st century the USN is investigating UCAVs instead as manned stealth aircraft and carrier aviation do not seem to mix well. The A-12 was scrapped (see below) and now only the canopy survives on sale for $650,000!!!
The “Flying Dorito”
waste of time

Replacement for A-6 was due
Navy tryin’
Delta designin’

Contractors couldn’t handle it
Problems did abound
A high cost per copy
In ‘91 Cheney shut it down

[$165 mil not sound]

The “Flying Dorito”
waste of time
Costs climbed

Of no use
Of no use
Of no use
No capability
RCS fair
Materials shoddy
Not so deadly

[An oddity]

Not to be
The “Flying Dorito”
waste of time
(Super Hornet for US Navy)
http://www.fiddlersgreen.net/aircraft/McDonnell-Douglas-A12/IMAGES/A-12-Avenger-II-Experimental-Navy-Bomber-Front-View.jpg http://www.fiddlersgreen.net/aircraft/McDonnell-Douglas-A12/IMAGES/A-12-Avenger-II-Remains.jpg http://www.fiddlersgreen.net/aircraft/McDonnell-Douglas-A12/IMAGES/A-12-Avenger-II-Remains2.jpg

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Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 7

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