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Song Parodies -> "German Stealth First in Use (Part III- Postwar)"

Original Song Title:

"I Put a Spell on You"

 (MP3)
Original Performer:

Screamin' Jay Hawkins

Parody Song Title:

"German Stealth First in Use (Part III- Postwar)"

Parody Written by:

Robert D. Arndt Jr.

The Lyrics

This third installment in my series deals with the postwar world of stealth and the Russians. Having captured both the Horten plans for the Ho-XVIII stealth bomber and GEMA's stealth work with crystal faceting, there was a rumor that Tupolev flying wings might attack the US if war broke out with the USSR. However, Stalin maintained his military obsession with mass-production weapons so that automatically cut-off any development of the German ultra high tech in favor of less sophisticated aircraft. For bombers the Russians looked instead to the He-343 (which became the Il-22), the Ju-287 FSW bomber (which made it to prototype stage), and use of German turboprop engine designs that evolved into the Bear's engines. They also rejected Prof. Ufimtsev's radical faceting idea using geometric shapes. His work became declassified in the early 1970's and the CIA got a copy which was passed to the USAF then the Skunk Works which led to a design called the Hopeless Diamond which eventually turned into the F-117. After that appeared, the Soviets turned to a different approach using plasma generation to nullify radar. This was supposedly tested on the Su-47 Berkut, but proved problematic. The Germans, meanwhile, ALSO continued with stealth using their MBB Lampyridae faceted interceptor mock-up and RCS models. The USAF discovered the German plane while touring MBB and put pressure on the W German Govt. to drop it. MBB did but retained the stealth knowledge, designing a range of OTHER stealth planes. In the '90s two strange German black triangles appeared in RSA at the Overberg Test Range. The craft looked something like the proposed Do LA-2000 but slightly different. These craft did not appear on radar, so the mystery continues... I'll have to do a Part IV to cover US claims that are myths.
German stealth first in use
used their minds

The Russians captured lots of loot
Secrets seekin’
Documents readin’

Horten XVIII bandit
Copies US-bound?
Tupolev was ready?
US safe ‘cause Stalin shot plans down

[Mass production bombers were more sound]

German stealth first in use
used their minds
(designs) declined

Book refused
Book refused
Book refused
Ufimtsev’s wild scheme
Radar scattered
With geometry (led to US)
F-117

[With faceting]

Was no need
German stealth first in use
used their minds
(Russians went plasma, Germans with MBB)

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Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 10

Voting Breakdown

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User Comments

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Rob Arndt - October 01, 2012 - Report this comment
MBB Lampyridae: http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-0r8hA5MUaT4/UFgmYHFFPCI/AAAAAAAAAzU/IMN7hll1YIw/s1600/Lampyridae+aero+testbed+front.jpg http://www.hitechweb.genezis.eu/stealth4e.files/lampyridae_MBB_manned_tunnel_model_stealth_2.jpg
Rob Arndt - October 01, 2012 - Report this comment
DASA TDEF concept: http://www.hitechweb.genezis.eu/images/drawings/TDEFS.jpg http://www.hitechweb.genezis.eu/stealth4e.files/FTTU2.jpg Dornier LA-2000 concept: http://www.hitechweb.genezis.eu/stealth4e.files/LA2000.jpg

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