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Song Parodies -> "Finnish VK was Crude"

Original Song Title:

"I Put a Spell on You"

 (MP3)
Original Performer:

Screamin' Jay Hawkins

Parody Song Title:

"Finnish VK was Crude"

Parody Written by:

Robert D. Arndt Jr.

The Lyrics

The first Finnish attempt at an APC failed miserably with the prototype VK in the 1970s. It had been intended for indigenous manufacture for UN duties independent of leased British Ferrets and used Soviet BTR-60s. The MoD made no design studies and chose its own private tractor manufacturer Vammaskoski who had no idle time to build military vehicles. So local components were used starting with a Valmet 1100 tractor and transmission and the construction was contracted out. The vehicle as delivered had severe shortcomings including: no suspensions system, low speed, underpowered, poor handling, and with dangerous interior conditions! The ride was absolutely cramped and painful- helmets were required at all times due to multiople protrusions of construction all over the place! The vehicle was sluggish and hard to control. It was evaluated against the BTR-60 and the findings were: VK pros- diesel engine. BTR-60 pros- everything else!!! The VK was cancelled and a new type was developed that proved far better, the Sisu XA-180 series. Vammaskoski redesigned the vehicle later but it never got off the drawing board!
Finnish VK was crude
bad design

Finns needed APC for use
Tractor ridin’
No tech applyin’

Vammaskoski botched it
No experience found
VK-type worked badly
Cobbled together, suffered break-downs

[Local components did not prove sound]

Finnish VK was crude
bad design
Wrong kind

Just too crude
Just too crude
Just too crude
Lacked basic suspension
No power there
Very poor steering
Despite intentions

[Slow speed mention]

Failed badly
Finnish VK was crude
bad design
(Finns used new Sisu series)
http://www.student.oulu.fi/~tjama/VK1.png http://www.student.oulu.fi/~tjama/VK2.png

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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 10

Voting Breakdown

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User Comments

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Patrick - September 24, 2012 - Report this comment
At the Old West show yesterday I saw a tractor pulling a covered wagon. The pioneers would have made it to Oregon or California a lot faster with that set up.
Rob Arndt - September 24, 2012 - Report this comment
I think some tried steam boilers but failed. I am fascinated by this old tech b/c Hitler had a newsman imprisoned for reporting on a secret aircraft under development that used rotary boilers to achieve high speed and very high altitude for the time. Little is known of the Huettner Stean Plane (note length and breadth reveresed): http://discaircraft.greyfalcon.us/Huettner.htm
Susanna Viljanen - September 25, 2012 - Report this comment
Never buy anything version 1.0 - indeed! The VK was a failure, but a lucky failure; it was evaluated on developing a new APC. The result was Sisu XA-180 aka "Pasi", which has earned its spurs both with both Finnish armed forces and also UN use.

Many of my family men have served in the forces and know "Pasi" well. It is said to be as easy to drive as an ordinary farm tractor, but can do 120 km/h on road.

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