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Song Parodies -> "Cat Bomb of World War II"

Original Song Title:

"I Put a Spell on You"

 (MP3)
Original Performer:

Screamin' Jay Hawkins

Parody Song Title:

"Cat Bomb of World War II"

Parody Written by:

Robert D. Arndt Jr.

The Lyrics

The most creative way to use a cat as a weapon happened in World War II. The United States’ OSS (Office of Strategic Services, the precursor of the CIA) needed a way to guide bombs to sink German ships. Somebody hit upon the inspiration that since cats have such a strong disdain of getting wet and always land on their feet that if you attached a cat to a bomb and drop it in the vicinity of a ship, the cat’s instinct to avoid the water would force it to guide the bomb to the enemy’s deck. It is unclear how the cat was supposed to actually guide a bomb attached to it as it fell from the sky but the plan never got past the testing stages since the cats had a bad habit of becoming unconscious mid-drop.
Cat bomb of World War II
armed feline!

Bats and pigeons also flew
Weapons tryin’
Science applyin’

Bat bombs didn’t make it
Better weapon was found (A-bomb)
Pigeon guidance crappy
When television was comin ‘round

[The German tech was much more sound]

Cat bomb of World War II
armed feline!
Warped minds!

Enclosed you
Enclosed you
Enclosed you
In bomb casing with view
Dropped from the air
Your fear of the sea
Ship guided to

[Via weight displacement when you moved]

Lunacy!
Cat bomb of World War II
armed feline!
(cats passed out prematurely)



Note: the method of guidance has always been guessed. But recent documentaries show the cats inside of a bomb casing harnassed with a view like the pigeon-guided weapon. The only way the cat could have guided the bomb would be weight displacement left and right towards the target ship. No way a cat strapped to a huge bomb from altitude would ever work as it would cling on for dear life. Cats were also used by the CIA postwar in "Operation Acoustic Kitty" which placed a bug in each cat with an implanted wire antenna through the tail! It took 5 years and 15 million dollars and on the first trial in Washington against a Russian target the cat got hit in the street while crossing! End of program!

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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 12

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

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 3   0
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 5   12
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User Comments

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Michael McVey - August 23, 2012 - Report this comment
Poor kitties!
Meriadoc - August 23, 2012 - Report this comment
Now this is funny!

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