Song Parodies -> "PzKpfw was Ruse"

Original Song Title:

"I Put a Spell on You"

^(MP3)

Original Performer:

"PzKpfw was Ruse"

Parody Written by:

The Lyrics

In October 1944, SIGNAL magazine published drawings of propaganda PzKpfw IX and X tanks to trick the Allies into believing that they were under production. Meanwhile, in reality, the Germans had trouble enough trying to produce Panthers and Tigers to stop the Allied deluge of armor puring in from both fronts. And although the formidable PzKpfw VII Lowe (Lion) was rejected, Hitler had Porsche and Henschel working on two monster designs- the 188 ton Maus (Mouse) tank and the equally superheavy 140 ton E-100 rival. 9 Maus tanks were produced but captured by the USSR and one E-100 was half finished minus turret. There was a single PzKpfw IX rough design but not as exaggerated as the SIGNAL drawings. It was a ruse. Beyond these the Germans had plans for huge landships the P.1000 Ratte at 1000 tons and the P.1500 Monster at 1500 tons!!!

PzKpfw was ruse
Panzer IX

SIGNAL propaganda use
Mag was lyin’
Kept Allies spyin’

PzKpfw VII Lowe was cancelled
Maus breakin’ ground
E-100 rival by Henschel
140-188 ton monsters found

PzKpfw was ruse
Panzer IX
For ‘45

They drew you
They drew you
They drew you
As German deception
Allies not aware
Took it seriously
Real Panzer 9- no connection

Fantasy
PzKpfw was ruse
Panzer IX
(no industrial capability)

http://img15.nnm.ru/d/e/c/a/c/a829f3039f260e715d519f3b3c4.jpg http://ww2drawings.jexiste.fr/Images/1-Vehicles/03-Heavy_Tanks/Panzer9/p1.jpg Maus: http://www.militaryfactory.com/armor/imgs/panzer-8-pzkpfw-viii-maus.jpg E-100: http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/6/6c/E-100a.jpg

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Confused??? - November 25, 2011 - Report this comment

First, you say this Mk.9 was propaganda and then later say there was a real design. If so, then who would build it? The modern artist drawing looks like he took the prop art and then mixed it with an JS tank! I am a modeller, so this design has always been considered fictional. Can you clarify? Give stats for projected series. No way Porsche nor Henschel could have built this given the situation in 1945.

Rob Arndt - November 25, 2011 - Report this comment

It is my understanding that the PzKpfw IX would have been a lighter version of the Lowe (which was to be 90 tons armed with either 1x 105mm or 1x 150mm gun) down to 50-55 tons (Panther size) mounting a 128mm and streamlined with aux. MGs and a new Maybach engine of perhaps 800-900 hp. I personally would have upgraded the engine and transmission on the Tigers. The IS-3 was over-rated and never saw any combat with any Tiger or Panther. I'm willing to bet that at even 4000m a King Tiger could pierce a IS-3 and severely doubt that the IS-3 gun could penetrate the KT at long range or pierce it from the frontal aspect. It took a 152mm gun at point blank range to pierce the Soviet captured test model and the US managed one through at point blank with a special 90mm round, also on a captured test model.

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