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Song Parodies -> "Beholla Pistol Use"

Original Song Title:

"I Put a Spell on You"

 (MP3)
Original Performer:

Screamin' Jay Hawkins

Parody Song Title:

"Beholla Pistol Use"

Parody Written by:

Robert D. Arndt Jr.

The Lyrics

The Beholla pistol was the second Imperial German Army pistol issued as standard weapon in WW1 with up to 49,000 produced from 1915-1918. It was a back-up to the Luger and yet little-known. Becker and Hollander made the pistol, thus the combo name Beholla. It was a 7.65mm pistol that worked fine except for one small problem- to disassemble the weapon one needed a vice and hammer to dislodge the cross-pin that held the bolt! Should have been a major problem in the field, but no such complaints. Allies knew next to nothing about the pistol until after the war. Becker and Hollander made no civilian models during 1915-18 but then produced them postwar under various names like Menda, Leonhardt, and Stenda. Total production was around 100,000...
Beholla pistol use
second in line

Second German pistol issued
B&H supplyin’
7.65 (mm) firin’

German Army ordered it
Lugers carried around
Back-up pistol carried
Beholla service weapon was sound

Beholla pistol use
second in line
Worked fine

Number two
Number two
Number two
49,000 made
Allies not aware
That German Army
pistol was carried…

For IGA
Beholla pistol use
second in line
(pistol sold to civilians in ‘20s)
http://www.auctionflex.com/ai2/33717/14207/5042598_3140ZZA8A.jpg

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User Comments

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Patrick - October 17, 2011 - Report this comment
I think I owned one for a brief time years ago, but never had the chance to shoot it. Thought I read somewhere that Hitler may have carried one. German pistols of that era were made from good materials by expert workmen, but were too complicated, with too many small parts, and difficult to work on. The French bought hundreds of thousands of cheap Spanish handguns, mostly of excellent Browning design, simple to operate and dismantle for cleaning, but of dubious materials and indifferent workmanship. If someone could have combined the German materials and precision tooling with the simple, straightforward Browning design, they would have had a really excellent sidearm. The French R-51 got it about right for .32 pocket pistol.
Rob Arndt - October 17, 2011 - Report this comment
I don't understand your reasoning since Germany invented the autopistol and had the C-96 and Luger already. Add the Walthers, including the excellent PPK and P-38 (world's first double-action) and you have a line of great well-made pistols. Sauer wanted to ship an Amboss to Hitler but it was not perfected in time for production. This fired a 9mm compression round that when strijing a solid object produced a 40mm blast!!! Postwar the Germans continued with the HK series and Walthers P-88, P-99QA, etc... even Mauser produced a M8 and they furnished the SEALS and their KAMPFSCHWIMMER with SOCOM weapons as well as the P-11 underwater dart pistol.
Patrick - October 18, 2011 - Report this comment
The C-96 and the P.08 are brilliant pieces of engineering. But they are very precisely hand fitted and rely upon perfect interaction of parts. If dirt or mud or substandard ammunition, or even slightly underpowered ammo gets into a Luger, it won't work. There were late war P.38 pistols that showed rough machining and lack of fine finish, and they still worked. You'll never see a "last ditch" Luger, the way you do with Type 99 Japanese rifles or very late war Nambu and Type 94 pistols. I've heard of several cases of PP or PPK pistols failing to fire under stressful conditions. I have no experience with the MP-5, certain politicians who fail to grasp the plain meaning of the Second Amendment have made that impossible for a peasant. I know they are quite popular with police departments who buy them mostly because they can have them and we can't. How does the MP-5 compare with mud and sand conditions compared to the much simpler Uzi? I'd like to know more about that pistol that gave a 9mm projectile the impact of a 40mm.
Rob Arndt - October 18, 2011 - Report this comment
The Sauer Amboss (Anvil) was an experimental pistol that fired a compressed lead azide and another explosive mix round. It was standard 9mm and if it hit a person would not explode. But if you hit a light armored vehicle or something really solid like a concrete bunker it would produce a 40mm blast. Tha Amboss was one of many trick guns the Germans experimented with. Others fired rocket bullets (before the Gyrojet) or were Flak Gas guns... even a magnesium ray gun!!! AFAIK, several late-war weapons were to be shipped to the bunker, largely emergency VG guns, but also new assault rifles and rocket weapons. Blonde Valkyrie got her hands on a Gustloff VG assault weapon and put it to use!

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