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Song Parodies -> "The Valmet M82"
Original Song Title:
"I Put a Spell on You"
(MP3)Original Performer:
Screamin' Jay Hawkins
Parody Song Title:
"The Valmet M82"
Parody Written by:
Robert D. Arndt Jr.
The Lyrics
The Valmet M82 was a Finnish attempt at a Para bullpup using the Rk.76 as basis, but enclosed in a bullpup configuration in NATO 5.56x45mm. It started out as a Para complaint about the need for a folding stock and instead turned into a cost-cutting new bullpup design that would eventually equip all Finnish forces. But it didn't work out that way. In trials, the M82 hit Paras in the teeth with the rear dioptic sight and no left ejection, so no "Leftie" usage- could not be fired from left shoulder. The rifle was interesting, but impractical in the end, so the Rk series rifle was retained and improved up to Rk.95 standard and back to 7.62x39mm. The M82 was licensed to the US for civilian sales...
The Valmet M82
bullpup design
Advanced rifle for Finnish troops
Rk/AKM supplyin’
For Paras tryin’
Finn Paras couldn’t stand it
No foldin’ stock around
Bullpup would work better
As well as cutting the costs down
The Valmet M82
bullpup design
Lost time
Not improved
Not improved
Not improved
Over Rk series was weak
Flaws here and there
Not for “Lefties”
Sight hit Paras in teeth
Not to be
The Valmet M82
bullpup design
(returned to Rk series)
bullpup design
Advanced rifle for Finnish troops
Rk/AKM supplyin’
For Paras tryin’
Finn Paras couldn’t stand it
No foldin’ stock around
Bullpup would work better
As well as cutting the costs down
The Valmet M82
bullpup design
Lost time
Not improved
Not improved
Not improved
Over Rk series was weak
Flaws here and there
Not for “Lefties”
Sight hit Paras in teeth
Not to be
The Valmet M82
bullpup design
(returned to Rk series)
http://d3841262.u109.c8.hostexcellence.com/images/assaultrifles/Valmet%20M82.jpg
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User Comments
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As a left-handed rifle shooter myself, I would have little use for a bull-pup. There are times when a soldier might have to switch sides and shoot around a corner, can't do that with a weapon that puts the empty case right up your nose.
Germany had an experimental in WW2 (plus design) and post-war tried the Rheinmetall RH-70 and Mauser G-11 (all below, in order):
http://i85.servimg.com/u/f85/12/45/00/40/8mm_kn10.jpg
http://greyfalcon.us/picturesw/w1.jpg
http://images.wikia.com/guns/images/d/d0/2757881.jpg
http://talks.guns.ru/forums/icons/forum_pictures/002457/2457623.jpg
Rob - Sorry I haven't been giving you comments too much (but I still score you highly). I'll give you a challenge...do one about the Russo-Finnish War to Jimmy Buffett's Fins (Finns to my left, Finns to my right!) and dedicate it to Susanna. ;D
OMR, no challenge there except for the OS as I do not know the one you suggested. I will pick my own artist and decide my own title. As you have noticed, I have done quite a few parodies that involve Finnish topics. I still am extremely ill and my productivity is slightly down. I have evaded hospitalization so far... so I write at night at home after being in bed all day drugged... I will try to do something this week...
The author of the parody has authorized comments, and wants YOUR feedback.
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