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Song Parodies -> "Persuader was Trench Broom"

Original Song Title:

"I Put a Spell on You"

 (MP3)
Original Performer:

Screamin' Jay Hawkins

Parody Song Title:

"Persuader was Trench Broom"

Parody Written by:

Robert D. Arndt Jr.

The Lyrics

General John T. Thompson, a graduate of West Point, began his research in 1915 for an automatic weapon to supply the American military. World War I was dragging on and casualties were mounting. Having served in the Army's ordnance supplies and logistics, General Thompson understood that greater firepower was needed to end the war. Thompson was driven to create a lightweight, fully automatic firearm that would be effective against the contemporary machine gun. His idea was "a one-man, hand held machine gun. A trench broom!" The first shipment of Thompson Persuader prototypes arrived on the dock in New York for shipment to Europe on November 11, 1918, the day that the War ended. In 1919 the gun was produced for sale under the new title "Thompson submachine gun"- the first use of that title for that weapon (although both the Italians and Germans had SMGs in WW1).
Persuader was trench broom
in .45 (cal)

Thompson to supply the troops
SMG tryin’
For .45 firin’

To kill German bandits
MGs firin’ loud
Persuader, cut them down
German MP-18 already around

Persuader was trench broom
in .45 (cal)
Lost time

They shipped you
They shipped you
They shipped you
November 1918
War ended there
None to infantry
What might have been???

(Late) Delivery
Persuader was trench broom
in .45 (cal)
(Not meant to be)
http://www.tommygun.com/imgs/vg_persuader.gif

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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 3

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

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User Comments

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David Copper - September 12, 2011 - Report this comment
Wow! I didn't know that the Tommy gun went back so far!
Patrick - September 12, 2011 - Report this comment
Despite the image the Thompson picked up in the gangster movies, they were a very scarce weapon. Only 15,000 of the first model produced. First 500 went to Ireland (Irish Republican Army smugglers). Others to Marine Corps, police departments. Every small town needed one as a prestige item. When WWII began, Auto-Ordnance still had over half the original run in its warehouse. At $200 each, few people could afford one. Actual gangster use was rare. The Kansas City Union Station massacre of 1933 was committed with the three Thompsons owned by the KCMo police department, then under mob control. They were left in an open police car to be "stolen", then returned to the department after the shooting. From what I hear, KCMo still has the guns but will not allow anyone to see them. A few months later, the mob boss of Kansas City, Johnny Lazzia, was gunned down with one of these same Thompsons as he came out of his apartment.
Rob Arndt - September 13, 2011 - Report this comment
Technically, the Italians invented the sub machinegun in WW1 with the Villar-Perosa gun for aircraft. But the contemporary configuration for ground usage comes from the WW2 Bergmann MP-18 that was issued to Sturntruppen for anti-trench warfare. [pstwar this became the Bergmann MP-28 and then on to the Erma MP-38/40. Postwar W Germany went to the Walther MP-K and MP-L then got the HK MP-5. Reuinfied they went to the HK MP-7 PDW which is the highest standard with 4.6mm armor penetrator round.

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