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Song Parodies -> "Massive Tank of WW2"

Original Song Title:

"I Put a Spell on You"

 (MP3)
Original Performer:

Screamin' Jay Hawkins

Parody Song Title:

"Massive Tank of WW2"

Parody Written by:

Robert D. Arndt Jr.

The Lyrics

Originating way back in 1942, the Porsche-designed Maus (Mouse) superheavy tank was a huge waste of time and resources. Instead of improving the Tiger series with more powerful engines and transmissions, the 188 ton Maus was a slow, cumbersome, mobile blockhouse with armor ranging from 80-240mm!!! It was to carry one 128mm main gun and a 75mm aux. gun (20 and 200 rds respectively)!!! The MB509 engine of 1080 hp was barely adequate to move the giant and work was delayed by problems with the engine, transmission, and suspension. This tank could never cross a bridge and the ground pressure was incredible. Still, Hitler's obsession with huge offensive projects meant that 2 prototypes were constructed with 9 more in final assembly by the time the Soviets arrived. The Germans tried to blow them up, but still one example survived to be put on display outside of Moscow at the Kubinka Museum.
Massive tank of WW2
188 ton find

Colossal project since 1942
Porsche undertakin’
Ground breakin’

MB509 V-12 couldn’t stand it
Weighed 376,000 lbs
Armed with 128 and 75mm guns
Maus tank covered in armor all around

Massive tank of WW2
188 ton find
2 built + 9 (under construction)

Built only 2
Built only 2
Built only 2
140 ton E-100 was rival
Wasn’t going anywhere
Last tank of Germany
Last survivor in a museum right now

Super-heavy
Massive tank of WW2
188 ton find
(Never ready)
http://strangevehicles.greyfalcon.us/Pictures/mau15.png http://www.mark-1-tank.co.uk/jpgs/kubinka-71-maus-420b.jpg http://www.achtungpanzer.com/images/cmaus.jpg http://www.achtungpanzer.com/images/maus_77.jpg E-100 rival: http://www.provehicles.co.uk/images/biggest_tanks/e-100_2.jpg http://pds10.egloos.com/pds/200808/19/40/a0002240_48a98e9eb0c71.jpg

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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 4.8
How Funny: 4.9
Overall Rating: 4.9

Total Votes: 9

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
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 2   0
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 3   1
 0
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 4   0
 1
 1
 
 5   8
 8
 8
 

User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

WCJ - July 20, 2011 - Report this comment
The tank doesn't look finished in the pics.... The top is missing... But still great parody Rob! 5's! :-)
Rob Arndt - July 20, 2011 - Report this comment
WCJ, I posted pics of both the Maus (completed and incomplete) and the rival E-100 (not completed)...
WCJ - July 20, 2011 - Report this comment
Oh, I must have missed looking a one of the pics, sorry.... :-( But thanks for letting me know! Still great parody! :-)
Patrick - July 20, 2011 - Report this comment
Did you catch History Detectives on PBS? Last night they had a story about the US Navy drone aircraft program of WWII. Television guided planes could drop bombs or crash into targets. A few were actually used in the Pacific. I read a story years ago about the African nation of Upper Volta (Burkina Faso today). In the 1970's UV was at war with Mali. UV had one tank. It would rarely start, and if it did, it was too heavy for any of the few bridges in the country.
Rob Arndt - July 20, 2011 - Report this comment
The USAAF was going to gut 10 Flying Fortresses and fill the aircraft with 20,000 pounds of an orange powder called nitrostarch, which was used for demolition. The B-17s were to be equipped with remote control radio equipment and be directed in the air by B-24s flying nearby. A few of the drones were to be fitted with television cameras mounted in the nose so they could be directed precisely to the target. A crew of two would be used to get the aircraft in the air and they would jump out after setting explosives and the controls. These 'Weary Willies' as they were called were to be used against Hitler's V weapon sites. The US navy had set up another drone program called 'Anvil'. The first target for two 'Aphrodite' was an underground site at Mimoyecques in France. The operation went wrong almost from the start. The first made it to the target but the remote controllled aircraft wouldn't respond and it was shot down by flak. The second stalled and went into a fatal dive, killing Lt. John Fisher. On the August 6th 1944 a PB4Y, a modified Liberator the Navy were trying out blew up in midair. The aircraft called 'Zootsuit Black' was carrying 24,240 pounds of Torpex and a two man crew. One was called Wilford J. Willy and the other was Joseph Kennedy Jr, brother of John F. Kennedy. They were killed instantly. The radio controlled aircraft never really worked properly. Eventhough Hap Arnold wanted to use them eventually against the Japanese. ~Wiki
Rob Arndt - July 20, 2011 - Report this comment
The Germans had been using Hs-293 and other ASMs during WW2 against enemy shipping as well as Mistle combinations. The Hs-293D was to be TV-guided: The Henschel Hs 293D was a anti-ship missile Designed and developed by Henschel und Sohn in 1939 under the leadership of Dr.-Ing. Herbert Alois Wagner. The Henschel Hs 293D was intended to be deployed against Allied shipping. Continued development of the standard Henschel Hs 293 A-1 led to the development of the Henschel Hs 293D which had an enlarged nosecone, to allow for the installation of a Tonne A nose camera, other modifications included Yagi aerial, which was fitted at the rear of the missile. The entire television guidance system was put together by Fernesh GmbH, under the guidance of Dr Weiss. The Henschel Hs 293D used the same engines 1 × Walter HWK 109-507B liquid fuel rocket engine producing up to 590 kg of thrust, alternatively the BMW 109-511 liquid fuel rocket engine producing up to 600 kg or WASAG 109-512 solid fuel rocket engine producing up to 1,200 kg of thrust. Testing the Henschel Hs 293D was achieved by using Do 217, He 111 as carrier aircraft which were then modified to carry a Yagi aerial and Seedorf receiver equipment, actual testing began early in 1944, against a wreck lying off the coast of Karlshagen. Dr.-Ing. Herbert Alois Wagner took the position of the bomb aimer throughout most of the testing however testing did not go as planned. Dr.-Ing. Wagner stated that he was inexperienced as a bomb aimer, and also suggested that the lack of indoor simulators, hampered the progress of testing. This weapon was not used operationally. DFS also had in development TV-guided Mistels and the DFS 360 Berserkir TV-guided explosive disc craft which was not completed. Hs-293D: http://discaircraft.greyfalcon.us/picturesf/ms3.jpg http://discaircraft.greyfalcon.us/picturesf/ms6.jpg
Dylan Baranski - July 20, 2011 - Report this comment
The Maus may have been huge, but it paled in comparison to the never-produced P.1000 "Ratte".
Rob Arndt - July 20, 2011 - Report this comment
Dylan... or P.1500 or Midgard-Schlange ;-) Japanese were bulding the O-I tanks too!!!

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