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Song Parodies -> "Horten XVIIIB-2"

Original Song Title:

"I Put a Spell on You"

 (MP3)
Original Performer:

Screamin' Jay Hawkins

Parody Song Title:

"Horten XVIIIB-2"

Parody Written by:

Robert D. Arndt Jr.

The Lyrics

Even before WW2, Hitler secretly planned to capture the Azores in an attempt to cut the distance to the US mainland for strategic bombing. However, once the war began, the Azores were taken by US forces in advance as well as the British protecting Iceland from German invasion. Germany, therefore by 1940 was left with air bases in Norway and France to bomb the US. Goering forbid Heinkel to develop 4-engine strategic bombers and so the LW had to rely on twin medium bombers throughout the war. However, Messerschmitt was permitted to build the original Me-264 Amerika Bomber which unfortunately was stalled and then later bombed. The USAF Daylight Offensive and RAF Night Offensive left Germany scrambling for emergency fighter production in late 1944 which led to the He-162 jet by April 1945. But even in late 1944 when all German bombers were cancelled, Heinkel had defied Goering and built the He-277 (fake designation He-177B) and was working on the He-274 in France (which was sabotaged). The Ju-488 was also under construction in France and sabotaged which left Germany in 1945 with two jet bombers- the Ar-234C and the Ju-287 with FSW. Neither became operational. But then a mystery in March 1945 when the Horten brothers (builders of flying wings and deltas) were approved on the 23rd to build a new Amerika Bomber as quickly as possible for use with a new Wunderwaffe (Wonder Weapon) under development. It was to be a single bomb to be dropped on Manhatten. Some historians now believe that with new proof that the Germans discovered their nuke mistake and tried for a mini-Uranium bomb of 880lbs. However, this was a light weapon to be carried by a modified Me Bf 109K-4 fighter for tactical battlefield use. So, what were the other weapons for consideration? Well, at Ohrdruf two radiologicals were under construction and seized/destroyed. That left another mystery weapon- the SS Firedamp bomb which used 60% coal dust and 40% LOX for a massive explosion. But the SS had added a mystery reagent that would cause unusual meteorological effects at ground level- a lightning storm to fry everything within a 4.5km radius. Supposedly, this was tested in March 1945 near the Baltic. The Horten XVIII under construction was meant to carry one of these weapons. It would be made of salvagable materials: tubular steel, wood, and fabric. It would be powered by 4x Jumo 004H jet engines with a range of nearly 6000 miles and up to 7700 with aerial refueling. It would be a flying wing with nose and rear gunner positions and two bomb bays for a conventional load of 4.2 tons. It was being constructed at the Kahla facility in Thuringia when the war ended. The center section was reportedly completed, but not the wings, and other components. The Jumos had reached the E stage but no further, so any operating Ho-XVIII would have had to substitute HeS 011 turbojets. And there was no tested aerial refueler except a Ju-290 during the war that re-feuled a Ju-390. So, the entire late program never really stood a chance. By that time Sanger and EMW had German spacecraft designed for the same job. This included the Silbervogel Anti-podal bomber and EMW A-6, A-9, and A-9B. German missiles at Peenemunde could also do the job with the ICBM A-9/A-10 under construction and a mystery 92 foot tall cluster rocket captured by the Soviets. German contamination versions of the V-1 and V-2 also were being constructed- the D-1 and D-2. Five D-2s were destroyed prior to capture at Leese.
Horten XVIIIB-2
was last design

Last Amerika Bomber of WW2
Frantic designin’
Hortens were tryin’

Hitler and Goering couldn’t stand it
Allied bombers flyin’ ‘round (the clock)
Ho-XVIII to strike NY badly
Wunderwaffe* designed to burst above ground

Horten XVIIIB-2
was last design
Ran out of time

They tried to
They tried to
They tried to
Build you underground
Get you into the air
Was shrouded in secrecy
Only center-section was found

Flying wing fantasy
Horten XVIIIB-2
was last design
(captured at Kahla facility)
http://www.xplanes3d.com/Projects/HoXVIIIB2/art/HoXVIIIB2_08.jpg

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Pacing: 5.0
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Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 8

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User Comments

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Wild Child JIN - July 05, 2011 - Report this comment
Kinda looks like a stealth bomber, bet you didn't know I had a pic of a stealth that I took while it was in midair? ;-) Great Parody! 5's Oh and here is the link to my Stealth Pic - https://lh6.googleusercontent.com/-55GkbIkgP6Y/TaSYcaoMZpI/AAAAAAAARQE/E7rNUndhHuE/The%252520Stealth.jpg
Rob Arndt - July 05, 2011 - Report this comment
WCJ, your URL is off- no "s" after http!!! Corrected URL= http://lh6.googleusercontent.com/-55GkbIkgP6Y/TaSYcaoMZpI/AAAAAAAARQE/E7rNUndhHuE/The%252520Stealth.jpg Also, the first true stealth fighter was the Horten Ho-IX: http://tanks45.tripod.com/Jets45/Histories/HoIX/Go229_3.jpg http://tanks45.tripod.com/Jets45/Histories/HoIX/Go229_3.jpg
Rob Arndt - July 05, 2011 - Report this comment
http://www.nurflugel.com/Nurflugel/Horten_Nurflugels/ho_ix/ho_ix_first_flight.jpg
Wild Child JIN - July 05, 2011 - Report this comment
Sorry about the URL, but it worked for me, hmmm... Well thank you for fixing it anyway, :-) By the way, in the pic, what kind of stealth aircraft is that???
WCJ - July 05, 2011 - Report this comment
I meant in my pic, what kind of Stealth aircraft is that???
Patrick - July 05, 2011 - Report this comment
The B-2 bombers flew missions from Knob Noster, Missouri, about 50 miles east of Kansas City, striking targets in Serbia. The government may have cut up Northrop's YB-49's, but the technology was in continuing development. Hard to imagine building a sophisticated airplane out of sawdust and charcoal. I'm trying to picture that lightning storm bomb. How would that have worked, and why has no one since developed such a weapon? I once saw a photo of an Italian plane, said to be carrying a liquid oxygen bomb.
Rob Arndt - July 05, 2011 - Report this comment
WCJ, your plane is a Lockheed F-117. Patrick, the Northrop line of flying wings weren't a success in WW2 and the Horten line (although more advanced) failed to get the Ho-IX/Go-229 into production in time. It was, however, the first designed stealth aircraft using configuration, RAM fillers, along with developing radar-absorbing paints and dielectric materials to absorb radar of that time. It was tested at Gottingen and found invisible to radar. The USAAF and 1947 USAF had no requirement for stealth a/c and the Northrop YB-35 and 49s were failures regardless. When it came to the B-2, it is not directly connected to the older wings at all. In form and function it is more like the Horten line and indeed the captured Ho-IX V3 in storage was fully re-examined by Northrop while designing the B-2. As for the SS Firedamp weapon, it too remains an enigma like the Bell Device and German disc craft of WW2- still classified. Germans developed FAEs during WW2 at the end as well, but never fueled one for use- same as Hitler NOT using Germany's strategic nerve gases either. Postwar, the FAE is the strongest weapon apart from a nuclear bomb and can flatten a huge area, so the lightning bomb is not needed...
Hammerhead - July 05, 2011 - Report this comment
Rob, cool parody, love the bomber story-5s!!! What else did the Hortens make? I saw a special one time on television about Hitler's secret weapons and he did have a flying wing. Is this the one???
Rob Arndt - July 08, 2011 - Report this comment
The Horten V, VII, XII, and Parabola are all interesting too!!!

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