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Song Parodies -> "The Griffin Tank Looks Doomed"

Original Song Title:

"I Put a Spell on You"

Original Performer:

Screamin' Jay Hawkins

Parody Song Title:

"The Griffin Tank Looks Doomed"

Parody Written by:

Robert D. Arndt Jr.

The Lyrics

The US Army's new proposed light tank Griffin is a bad idea. It mates a British Ajax scout vehicle hull with a smaller M1 type turret protecting a new XM360 120mm cannon that is one ton lighter than the Rheinmetall gun. It's a mere 28 tons but thinly armored. How have we come to this? Army tankers already refer to it as the "Mini-MI" ( Mini M1)!
The Griffin tank looks doomed
Bad for time

The hull has been removed
Ajax subbin'
Protection snubbin'

General Dynamics wants it
A mere 28 tons
Light tank with higher speed
And a new 120 (mm) gun

The Griffin tank looks doomed
Bad for time
Less refined

A3 screwed
Lot to lose
Seems too crude
Obama sequestration nightmare
Cannot compare
To Leopard 3
That just wouldn't be fair

Army folly
The Griffin tank looks doomed
Doesn't shine
(Go for M1A3)

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Voting Results

Pacing: 4.3
How Funny: 4.3
Overall Rating: 4.3

Total Votes: 11

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   2
 2   0
 3   0
 4   0
 5   9

User Comments

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Charlie Sike - April 19, 2017 - Report this comment
good grief as usual, not funny at all, and just plain pointless
Patrick - April 19, 2017 - Report this comment
Any combat vehicle is a compromise among speed, armor, and armament. I saw a lot of photos of light tanks in German magazines in the early 1930's. The wartime issues of "Signal" and the soldiers' personal albums show only heavy "full size" tanks. Man portable rockets have made the lightweight tanks obsolete and vulnerable on a battlefield. OK though for maintaining order against civil unrest in urban settings.
Rob Arndt - April 19, 2017 - Report this comment
Light tanks can still be useful for Paras and lightly armed troops, but are more of a mainstay of third world countries. The US has need of a heavyweight Frontline tank. Germany maintains the lead with the Leopard 2A7++ and is going for the mammoth Leopard 3 partnered with France adding laser flak, multilayered optronics, hypersonic ammo, and a few features of the LeClerc and Merkava tanks. Russia has added the T-14 Armata which may see combat this year IF Putin takes the Baltics and Ukraine. Last thing the US needs is a light tank using a British Ajax hull!!!
C. Abrams - April 19, 2017 - Report this comment
Again, a godawful, non-parody, DOA piece of MIL specialist junk inaccurately grafted onto the usual extended grunt of an OS. You got a complaint about a U.S. tank? Call the friggin Pentagon and stop soiling these pages!
Jason - April 19, 2017 - Report this comment
As I recall, tankettes fielded by the Italians and Japanese during the Second World War were a joke. The United States Army already tried the XM8 and stopped after six prototypes. Why on earth would there be a return to faulty thinking?
Yeah, Right! - April 19, 2017 - Report this comment
^ "Jason"?
Tank boy - April 19, 2017 - Report this comment
tanks for the info...

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