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Song Parodies -> "East Germans Weighed the Soul"

Original Song Title:

"I Put a Spell on You"

 (MP3)
Original Performer:

Screamin' Jay Hawkins

Parody Song Title:

"East Germans Weighed the Soul"

Parody Written by:

Robert D. Arndt Jr.

The Lyrics

At the turn of the 20th century, a doctor named Duncan MacDougall weighed 6 patients dying of TB right before and right after death using industrial scales accurate down to two-tenths of an ounce. Based upon his findings, he determined that the weight of the soul that left the body was on average 21 grams. This was reported in The New York Times but later was rejected based on lack of proper controls, disputed times of death that led to sweat release and air escape ftom the lungs, and overall low sampling. But in the 1980s, the East Germans conducted the same experiment on a larger scale with over 200 patients dying of multiple diseases and using state of the art scientific measuring equipment scales accurate to 1/10000th of an ounce! Time of death recorded instantly. This time, no variance in weight. All subjects upon death lost 1/3000th of an ounce! This was reported in the German science journal Horizon and Pope John Paul II acknowledged it as proof of a soul. Research conducted by Dr. Becker Martens of Dresden.
East Germans weighed the soul,
At death time

MacDougall had tried it too
6 patients dyin'
Science applyin'

But he mismanaged it
21 grams averaged down
Scales were not that accurate
Inconsistencies did abound

East Germans weighed the soul
At death time
Research refined

Better scales used
Time of death cued
Soul loss as viewed
1/3000th of an ounce
No variance there
200 patients filled need
Dr. Martens findings were announced
(Not trounced)

More than belief
East Germans weighed the soul
At death time
(Although no Diety linked)
Also, around the world studies have been conducted to determine where the soul sits in the human body. The general consensus is in the lower digestive tract!

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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 4.6
How Funny: 4.6
Overall Rating: 4.6

Total Votes: 10

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   1
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 2   0
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 3   0
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 4   0
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 5   9
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User Comments

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Mia - December 07, 2016 - Report this comment
Wow.
Matthias - December 07, 2016 - Report this comment
John I know you haven't competed in parody competitions before but I'm starting a new one that is open to the public and it would be really cool to see you join in on the fun. Here's the link: http://www.inthe00s.com/index.php?topic=54694.0 (Let me know if you are interested! Thanks!)
Matthias - December 07, 2016 - Report this comment
Sorry Rob. I posted this under the wrong author but you are more than welcome to join in the fun as well!
Patrick - December 07, 2016 - Report this comment
I remember reading about similar experiments years ago. Appears that we are different in body, but everyone's soul is the same. Minor correction: the Creator is a Deity. Diety would involve weight loss. Which, i guess, is the subject of this parody.
Rob Arndt - December 07, 2016 - Report this comment
Thanks Patrick, another Spellchecker autocorrect that is wrong!

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