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Song Parodies -> "Fruit Soda Helped by the U"

Original Song Title:

"I Put a Spell on You"

 (MP3)
Original Performer:

Screamin' Jay Hawkins

Parody Song Title:

"Fruit Soda Helped by the U"

Parody Written by:

Robert D. Arndt Jr.

The Lyrics

The origin of British Ribena soda, helped by the WW2 U-boat blockade.
Fruit Soda Helped by the U
Over time

Blackcurrant syrup domestic use
U-boats blockin'
No fruits to be stockin'

Vernon Charley handled it
Cordial full of C was sound
Ribes Nigrum = Ribena
To Brit children passed around

Fruit Soda Helped by the U
Over time
Postwar- '55

Beecham improved
Fizzy soda use
Kind to tooth
Was less damaging
Health drink fair
4x Vitamin C
But GSK was found scamming

Not as claimed to be
Fruit Soda Helped by U
Over time
(Sued for false advertising)*
* Analysis of the soda variants revealed that Ribena did NOT have 4x the Vitamin C of an orange and that it's dental claim to be less damaging to teeth was also false. Still, if not for the U-boat blockade and unavailable fresh fruit, Ribena would have not been as successful. Carter distribution might have stayed as just the cordial without the Beecham buyout and latter soda development.

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Original Song: 
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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 4.7
How Funny: 4.7
Overall Rating: 4.7

Total Votes: 37

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   3
 3
 3
 
 2   0
 0
 0
 
 3   0
 0
 0
 
 4   0
 0
 0
 
 5   34
 34
 34
 

User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

Disrespected - September 30, 2016 - Report this comment
Who the hell cares!! You throw any old crappy minutiae at us with only the intention of passing JAB. No respect for the reader!
Barney - September 30, 2016 - Report this comment
Hahahaha. He's like the Trump of parodists: nothing but bullsh*t. Hahaha
Rob Arndt - September 30, 2016 - Report this comment
Pardon me, I'll let you get back to the vets who write of the mundane :-)
Rob Arndt - September 30, 2016 - Report this comment
Btw detractor, what harm have I done in injecting a bit of history into my work? Ribena was provided free to all British children due to the German U-boat blockade and by 1942 almost all blackcurrant yield was used to make the cordial for Vitamin C purpose. I would say that was a good thing as the Germans sunk 15.5 million tons of shipping by U-boat alone. As Churchill stated, to him the greatest single threat to Britain during the Second World War. At least my readers get to constantly learn something new as opposed to writers of the mundane. And when YOU can reach 3419 parodies in 5.5 years vs over a decade or longer, please let me know. It takes a lot just to come up with new topics. I got rejected by Chuck on a new Sex Toy as topic. I tried to keep it clean, but function alone got it censored, no matter the wording. And finally, I have total respect for JAB. I told him that I would NOT bump him no matter what. I have kept my word.
Lazy and Dumb - October 01, 2016 - Report this comment
How many of those 3519 were poorly paced, four line Barney paragraphs? Quality always TRUMPS quantity.
Rob Arndt - October 01, 2016 - Report this comment
STFU idiot. I've done more individual artists than anyone here and other unorthodox parodies using hymns, poetry, commercials, tv theme songs, etc... JAB himself did blocks of the same songs for years before I ever got here. He had over 500 Spells himself to my now 785. I beat every production record here and also have 4241 other entertainment submissions as well, you scumbag. 7670 total submissions in 5.5 years, not a decade or a dozen or more years. And my topics are usually far above the mundane with geopolitical themes, history, war, and odd facts that are not trivial. Your high vets write of food, toilet humor, boring daily life, etc... that's not me. I am unique here and am still the only Top 10 Parodist at Number 2 and Top 10 Contributor at Number 5 simultaneously. Beat that AFW and Company. Yes, Disrespected is AFW. I bumped him years ago and he limped away. And for the record I have 107 Barney parodies. Do the math loser, not significant. Let's see you do over 650 individual artists. Let's see you match production at a high of 100/Mo for years... as well as submissions that equalled 300/mo! There's no one like me here. And I remain unmoved by my critics who have fled. Now try to write some parodies instead of spamming the comments section.
Disrespected - October 01, 2016 - Report this comment
To R.A. — Wrong. I am not AFW. You owe him an apology.
I do not know who Barney/Lazy and Dumb are.
Your familiar screed is very much like Trump's 3 A.M. tweets. You are Donald Trump because nobody else could be so easily baited and engage in such embarrassing self-destruction.
Now try to write some quality parodies instead of foul name-calling and reciting your statistics to us.
Rob Arndt - October 01, 2016 - Report this comment
The only Parodist for the OS listed goes to AFW. The use of old terms like minutiae, Panzer Divisions, and bumping JAB is spot on for AFW. If you are someone else, me apologies but only AFW comes up for "Carry Me Back to Old Virginia" and the parody is about vagina. Coincidence? AFW is an old perv and sounds like you are too. Please cite Japanese vag refs too as the United States Official Handbook on Japanese Army Forces disputes you. The German Borghild hoax was debunked as well. So piss off troll, whomever you are. You will never equal me. You are nothing but a cowardly commentator.
Disrespected - October 01, 2016 - Report this comment
Ordinarily, I would not attack a fellow parodist — even for his bizarre, production-oriented, and low-grade performance. If you did your best, I would STFU. But you, R.A., are an unabashed, indecent, war-loving admirer of the military achievements and weaponry of the Third Reich. You give lip service to disapproval of its evil and make unconvincing statements about your charity to its victims. Therefore, I show no mercy in raking you over the coals for stinking up these pages!
Rob Arndt - October 01, 2016 - Report this comment
Evasion noted, liberal scum. You have no proof of anything you claim. Just opinions and false accusations. Now put up your author page to validate yourself as a Parodist. If not, you are merely trolling....
Disbelieving - October 01, 2016 - Report this comment
Those were truly disgusting comments that RA just made about Airfarcewon, who was one of the most prolific authors ever and an a true gentleman. There could be any number of reasons AFW doesn't post here anymore. He may be ill, or he may be put off by the general tone of this place. Wouldn't blame him
? - October 01, 2016 - Report this comment
Touching on the so-called Japanese flesh vaginas, why then did the Japanese seize hundreds of thousands of "comfort women" from the nations they conquered? These included non-asian Dutch, French, and Australian women. I don't usually support this author, but in this case I believe he's proven Disrespected is a liar and troll.
A tragedy - October 01, 2016 - Report this comment
https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Comfort_women
Wazzup ppl? - October 01, 2016 - Report this comment
Waz with these long-winded attacks on Phil for GMOs, Patrick for Deplorables, and Rob for fruit soda? I think AIR is infested with nutters! Chillax ppl.
@ ? - October 01, 2016 - Report this comment
At least you can say with certainty that you're not a troll.
Common Sense - October 01, 2016 - Report this comment
Seems to me a no-brainer that troops of any country who were sent into jungle warfare without seeing a woman for months would be supplied with a pocket sex aid. It was probably not recorded because in the 30s and 40s gentlemen never spoke of such things while they were busy killing each other. Anyway, LOL for the parody Disrespected started.
Soldier - October 01, 2016 - Report this comment
^ thinks he should take his Fleshlight to Iraq!
Patrick - October 02, 2016 - Report this comment
I expected to garner some heavy-duty commentary when I wrote about Hillary Clinton's characterization of Trump supporters as "Deplorables", especially when I put her stereotypes into their utterances. But to see such vitriol over an ersatz fruit drink! An odd topic for a song, but I just wrote a parody about chocolate chip cookies. And, I did learn something about the resilience of the British people in WWII. Wars on not won with weapons alone. Maintaining proper health and nourishment is essential to survival and, ultimately, victory. I also learned something about the Japanese Army I had never heard before. Don't think that showed up in "Letters From Iwo Jima". Next time I want people to notice me, I'll have to come up with a song about Zuberfizz Key Lime Cream Soda.
Disrespected - October 02, 2016 - Report this comment
Patrick, the parody would have gone unremarked if this citizen hadn't succinctly commented that the submission had no merit as a parody. That led to an uproar of defensiveness, tangents, attack and counterattack — none of which was on the subject of a certain fruit soda. This was a case where anyone who might be interested in a little WW2 story from the war-room files of the Sage of Sacramento would have been better off reading a prose account, instead of wading through yet another clumsy, tedious, unwitty version of IPASOY. I hope you have squeezed the wit out of chocolate chip cookies, for I look forward to reading it. What may not seem to be grist for the mill can very well be, if the author, unencumbered by a production schedule, makes it so.
Rob Arndt - October 03, 2016 - Report this comment
Absolutely false and completely denied by the German Health Ministry. All German weapons and equipment had designations. A sexual item that functioned would be an apparat or gerat. No such designations, ever. The Borghild Hoax was exposed and no record of any Japanese equivalent: in fact, it would be dishonorable to carry such a thing. Fabricated stories are based on Japanese early 20th century import of Belgian or French sex dolls in civilian hands.
Rob Arndt - October 03, 2016 - Report this comment
Btw, the Western Allies raped 285,000 German women in their zones. Add this to the 2.2 million raped by the Red Army in the Soviet Sector. German rapes of Russian, Ukrainian, and Baltic women did occur, but German racial and official Nazi policy discouraged it. More often German Heer and Waffen SS as well as ESK and DB simply killed as many civilians as possible in eastern combat zones. In the West, German troops were issued passes to authorized only brothels. Notice no mention of sex dolls in any credible source on these subjects. No photographic evidence either.
Historian - October 03, 2016 - Report this comment
You got it wrong, Logician. Actually, FDR told Eisenhower, "I hear there's a gap between the legs of your personal driver, CPT Sommersby. We must not allow that, Ike. You need to fill that gap, ASAP
Patrick - October 03, 2016 - Report this comment
Disrespected, for my cooking parody see "Chocolate Goo" on September 21.
Logician - October 03, 2016 - Report this comment
Thanks, Historian. Actually, it was George C. Marshall who advised Ike about Kay.
Disrespected - October 03, 2016 - Report this comment
Patrick, I just read your charming and light slice-of-life parody. Glad you left out the changing of the diaper 12 hours later. I also got a kick out of your way politically incorrect coda.
Patrick - October 03, 2016 - Report this comment
I try to avoid that sort of "humor". Glad you liked the songs.

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