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Song Parodies -> "Holy Grail Search was True"

Original Song Title:

"I Put a Spell on You"

 (MP3)
Original Performer:

Screamin' Jay Hawkins

Parody Song Title:

"Holy Grail Search was True"

Parody Written by:

Robert D. Arndt Jr.

The Lyrics

Himmler. Spain. 1940.
Holy Grail Search was true
Himmler's drive

Belief Jesus wasn't Jew
Aryan bloodline
Tracked to Spain for time*

Abbey of Montserrat
Font of life folksong
Wagner opera Parsifal
Had to be, couldn't be wrong
(Catholic translator strung him along)**

Holy Grail search was true
Himmler's drive
Hope kept alive

Learned nothing new
Ahnenerbe feud***
Research methods crude
Nothing they did find
Hope to win the war
Supernaturally
But it was all in his mind

Object never near
Holy Grail Search was true
Himmler's drive
(But at least Hitler had the Spear)****
* belief that Jesus' brothers and sisters moved from Palestine to France, then Spain
** Andreu Ripol Noble
*** German Occult Bureau was searching in Egypt
**** The Spear of Destiny taken from Vienna after the Anschluss (The Spear of Longinus that pierced Christ's side. When the US Army liberated it on April 30, 1945 Hitler killed himself within 1 hour)!!!

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Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 8

Voting Breakdown

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User Comments

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Patrick - November 03, 2015 - Report this comment
The inhabitants of Jerusalem were more than happy to sell nails and wood from the "True Cross" to gullible pilgrims during the Middle Ages and the Crusades. If all the pieces of the cross now held by the churches of Christendom were combined they would be sufficient to crucify all of Spartacus' army. And, maybe they were. Himmler, of course, had a very demanding client to please. During my time at the auction house I sold a Hitler painting of a Vienna church and a walking stick with AH in gold letters. Goebbels' university diploma (in Latin) failed to draw a bid, as I recall. I liked the scene in The DaVinci Code in which the French lady cop learned she was a descendant of Jesus, then tried to walk across the water of the public fountain.

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