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Song Parodies -> "Rail Guns Make Old Ships New"

Original Song Title:

"I Put a Spell on You"

 (MP3)
Original Performer:

Screamin' Jay Hawkins

Parody Song Title:

"Rail Guns Make Old Ships New"

Parody Written by:

Robert D. Arndt Jr.

The Lyrics

Ever since WW2 the idea of an electromagnetic rail gun hitting air, sea, and land targets seemed like a good idea. In Germany, a 150mm rail gun was designed at Peenemunde to fire projectiles at London at Mach 4. The only problem was that the huge gun would need a power plant to operate it. Eng. Hansler proposed an AA Electric Gun in 40mm that was lab tested before the end of the war. It equally took up too much power, so the US and Britain passed on the idea. But with more powerful warships (some with nuclear reactors) the idea resurfaced with the USN and RN by the 2000s. Demonstrators were built of more advanced design and lower power efficiency. It is proposed to mount single EMRGs on Destroyers but perhaps also on a new series of modern multi-turreted Dreadnoughts that could pound targets hundreds of miles away or kill missiles in flight. BAe made the first one followed by US General Atomics (The Blitzer)! Trials start in 2016 at sea.
Rail guns make old ships new
Navies find

32MJ
200 miles
Mach 7 wild!

10 shots a minute
Formidable firepower
Can kill anti-ship missiles
Makes the Phalanx seem dire
(Metalstorm? Expired!)

Rail guns make old ships new
Navies find
Dreadnought comeback "Happy Time?"

Mega Joules
High Wattage too
Must be kept cool
Problematic overheating
Handle with care
Magazine feed
Hyper-projectiles needing

Carrier competitor?
Rail guns make old ships new
Navies find
(Sea bombardment a no-brainer)

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Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 7

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User Comments

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Patrick - November 03, 2015 - Report this comment
If you've never heard of Fred Reed (fredoneverything.net), you ought to look up what he has to say on the measures China is taking to negate the US advantage in carrier battle groups. This railgun may be the countermeasure needed to swarms of anti-ship missiles.
Patrick - November 03, 2015 - Report this comment
Just looked on the web site. It's now "Fredoneverything.org".
Rob Arndt - November 03, 2015 - Report this comment
Thanks Patrick. For trivia, it is believed that the Peenemunde Rail Gun would be the V-6 in sequence after the Fieseler Fi-103 flying bomb, Peenemunde A-4 ballistic missile, HWA High Pressure Pump multibarrel gun, Henschel extended range ramjet missile, and DFS Bombensegler supersonic glider bomb!!!

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