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Song Parodies -> "Jap Last Ditch Weapons Crude"

Original Song Title:

"I Put a Spell on You"

 (MP3)
Original Performer:

Screamin' Jay Hawkins

Parody Song Title:

"Jap Last Ditch Weapons Crude"

Parody Written by:

Robert D. Arndt Jr.

The Lyrics

By 1945, Japan's industries were crumbling and like the Germans the Japanese tried to both field more advanced weapons while also developing primitive arms for civilian paramilitary forces. In preparation for the home island invasion Japan was busy with jet aircraft, missiles, microwave weapons, midget subs, submarine carriers, and an atomic program in occupied Korea at Konan. The Germans shipped them advanced components and blueprints via U-boat. But progress was slow. The Heerswaffenamt sent primitive weapons documents as well. Japan made a Type I Rifle of standard 7.7mm of low grade steel and unfinished wood furniture which was a breech-loader single shot with bent metal trigger and guard, simple sights. The following Type II Rifles in 8mm were cruder block types with slider rails for recoil. Last were percussion arm National Civilian Rifle and Pistol using Black powder!!! The Rifle had a smoothbore pipe for a barrel in 13mm and fired a 15mm steel rod projectile using 5 grams of powder set off by a hammer striking a cap over a flash hole on top of the barrel. Pistol of unknown caliber used same action. See below...
Jap last ditch weapons crude
End of line

Low grade steel and wood were used
Some percussion firin'
Other rifles 8 (mm) were trialin'

Cottage industry demanded it
Little resources could be found
Made them on a simple lathe
For civilians they were bound
(The Block Gun stockpiles were in mounds)

Jap last ditch weapons crude
The end of the line
In '45

Types I and II
Block Guns too
A few were used
On occupation forces
Few to spare
After VJ-Day
Destroyed IJA Laboratories

Museum destiny
Jap last ditch weapons crude
The end of the line
(A-bombs dropped, production ceased)
http://33.media.tumblr.com/69b86181539ded207be0dcf5aed70979/tumblr_inline_mi4ywySP7C1qz4rgp.jpg

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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 4.7
How Funny: 4.7
Overall Rating: 4.7

Total Votes: 14

Voting Breakdown

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User Comments

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Rob Arndt - June 19, 2015 - Report this comment
Type I and Type II Rifles: http://club443.ru/arc/uploads/127/post-1193043476.jpg
Rob Arndt - June 19, 2015 - Report this comment
Note: National Civil Rifle was caliber 13mm, projectile was 15mm long...
Patrick - June 19, 2015 - Report this comment
Years ago, at the auction company, I had the chance to handle one of the Japanese percussion pistols. Kids in New York City made better guns from car antennas. Also saw quite a few trainer rifles, designed for blanks only. Some of those, I suspect, could be fired with black powder low pressure ammunition. The late war Type 99 rifles and Nambu pistols were crude enough. Got to handle a few deactivated pottery grenades, too.
Rob Arndt - June 19, 2015 - Report this comment
Patrick, the Japanese did remarkably well timewise on fabricating German weapons from documents and photos. There was a Japanese panzerfaust and panzerschreck but not enough manufactured to get past trials. The Hungarians managed their own panzerschreck and Argentina even made a puny panzerfaust copy postwar about the size of the 30k (Klein or small). Crudest weapon I can think of for Nazi small arms would be the EMP-44 SMG or Volkspistole.
Rob Arndt - June 19, 2015 - Report this comment
I always liked this Type II SMG: https://m1pencil.files.wordpress.com/2013/01/t24.jpg
Rob Arndt - June 20, 2015 - Report this comment
Pottery grenades are always a blast!: http://www.lonesentry.com/ordnance/wp-content/uploads/2010/01/pottery-hand-grenade.jpg
Rob Arndt - June 26, 2015 - Report this comment
Jaoanese panzerfaust: http://www3.plala.or.jp/takihome/r7.jpg
Rob Arndt - June 26, 2015 - Report this comment
Japanese rocket launcher: http://forums.gunboards.com/attachment.php?attachmentid=564086&thumb=1&d=1341950588

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