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Song Parodies -> "New Type of Gun Control"

Original Song Title:

"I Put a Spell on You"

 (MP3)
Original Performer:

Screamin' Jay Hawkins

Parody Song Title:

"New Type of Gun Control"

Parody Written by:

Robert D. Arndt Jr.

The Lyrics

The firm Armatix has come up with the answer to the left-leaning DEM anti-gun forces- a firearm tied to a smart watch that MUST be worn to fire the weapon. Sounds ingenious b/c of the claims that minus the watch the gun (even loaded) is absolutely harmless and is childproof too! Basic fact: without the watch, the firearm is useless to the owner or wielder. If you forget the watch or lose it, the gun is rendered useless. If the watch malfunctions or gets broken, the gun is rendered useless. If someone knows about the gun and takes your watch from you and tosses it out of proximity, the gun is rendered useless. No responsible trained gun owner would buy this for personal defense at all. The fact that the smart watch MUST be present at all times with this firearm (instead of conventional mechanical safeties on the actual weapon) make this an extreme liability. And Armatix made a .22 cal pistol which is practically useless against anything but small animals, as it is a utility caliber. If this was in 9mm, .40 or .45 cal, then it would be a real threat. The liberals are cheering and want ALL future firearms to use the smart watch tech. To me, the iP1 is a dangerous joke and should NOT be taken seriously. This is also known as the first iGun! In fact, it is a dumb gun slaved to a smart watch with a lame green glow bar on its rear!!! The only good use for this thing would be as a training firearm... for women and children ;-)
New type of gun control
based on time

Firm Armatix made something new
Smart watch safety
That seems quite hasty

NRA can’t stand it
Combo is unsound
Missing watch could prove deadly
iP1 cannot fire if watch not found

[Or if the watch has a break-down]

New type of gun control
It’s based on time
Gun tied

In .22 (cal)
For home use
Claimed childproof
But comes down to the watch
Buyer beware
False (sense of) security
Fear combo botch

[No watch, gun locked]

Is silly
New type of gun control
It’s based on time
(Rather have dual safeties ON gun- REALLY!)
http://www.extremetech.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/02/smartgun-640x353.jpg

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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 4.1
How Funny: 4.0
Overall Rating: 4.2

Total Votes: 15

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

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User Comments

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Crap Control - February 24, 2014 - Report this comment
Could you put a safety watch on your "parody" writing?
Gun Owner - February 24, 2014 - Report this comment
Isn't there double jeopardy with both the gun AND the watch? The gun is supposed to be dumb, but still carries within it a receiver for the watch signal, so if the gun is dropped or malfunctions internally and the signal is not recieved from the watch, then it still wouldn't shoot, right? That makes the gun an extreme risk. Who would buy this? I suppose the leftist anti-gun lobby will count on the moron market!
NRA - February 24, 2014 - Report this comment
Gun control in any form is not SMART!!! Who'd buy this pea shootin' plinker anyway? A metrosexual with a tech fetish???
Patrick - February 24, 2014 - Report this comment
Any American has 300 million existing guns to choose from. No one would buy this idea. Back in the 1970's someone developed a revolver that would only fire if the user was wearing a special ring. It was aimed at the police market, since most officers who are shot are the victims of their own weapons, taken by suspects in hand to hand brawls. What happens if the ring is on your injured right hand and you have to shift to your left hand to stay in the fight? What happens if your partner or a helpful civilian comes to your aid when you're wounded? This idea is on a par with Obamacare (redefine the work week to half of what it was while doubling the cost of health insurance) or raising the minimum wage. You can tell an employer how much he must pay a worker, but you can't force him (yet) to hire someone, nor require him to give him a full 40-hour week. Some techie might admire the electronics of this monstrosity, but no serious shooter would actually buy it. One of the appealing features about guns is their relative simplicity and durability. Not many folks are still driving their father's or grandfather's car, but a lot of hunters take to the field each year with 70 to 100 year old guns, or keep great-grandma's revolver in the bedside table. A complication such as this breaks the most appealing feature of a firearm, which, of course, is the purpose of the proposal. If such a design reaches the notice of the legislature, you can be certain that the first clause will exempt the cops and the Secret Service from the requirement to adopt such weapons.
Rob Arndt - February 24, 2014 - Report this comment
This scene would be ironic in an armed robbery: "Hey Mister, hand over your wallet, watch, AND the iP1" :)
Rob Arndt - February 24, 2014 - Report this comment
Agree completely, Patrick. Add BATF(E) to that list ;-)
LPG-Unit - March 28, 2014 - Report this comment
A thousand "I Put A Spell On You" parodies later...

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