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Song Parodies -> "Men of Joint Task Force 2"

Original Song Title:

"I Put a Spell on You"

 (MP3)
Original Performer:

Screamin' Jay Hawkins

Parody Song Title:

"Men of Joint Task Force 2"

Parody Written by:

Robert D. Arndt Jr.

The Lyrics

In 1992 it was decided that for political and social reasons that the RCMP SERT (Royal Canadian Mounted Police Special Emergency Response Team) would be replaced by a military elite force, newly crreated from scratch, borrowing from the CAF (Candian Armed Forces) the best of their paras and infantry. The initial number were somewhere around 200 men and a special budget was drawn up to expand their size and guarantee all weapons, new training facilities, and transport by air, land, and sea to them for all operations foreign and domestic. Their goal is primarily counter-terrorism but also are specialists in Triple-S (Sensitive Site Suppression). They have operated in the Balkans, Haiti, Afghanistan, Libya, and on the seas. They use heavily modified C-8 rifles, use the FN P90, Benelli tactical shotguns, the MP-5 family, and even the old reliable Browning High Power pistol. They use drones, have their own insertion military aircraft, and specialized attack boats for warfare on the sea. They have trained with British SAS and SBS, German KSK, and oddly- the Finnish Army! Even in the desert they wear white scarves to mask their faces and sometimes wear white gloves and boots! Very odd. Sometimes called the "Maple Leaf Beasts!!!" The Mounties are a bit jealous, of course!!!
Men of Joint Task Force 2
classified

Blow to “Mountie” SERT in ‘92
Police losin’
CAF recruitin’

Public couldn’t stand it
With SERTs spread around
The CAF were more deadly
Better trained for terror showdowns

[Better arms, armor, and planes were found]

Men of Joint Task Force 2
Are classified
Have pride (Facta Non Verba)*

On the move
Force was used
Wars- a few
Balkans to Middle East
Their cost not shared
Budget immunity
Troops meant for peace

[“Maple Leaf Beasts“]

Secrecy
Men of Joint Task Force 2
Are classified
(True numbers not known nor all facilities)
* Facta Non Verba motto means "Deeds, Not Words"

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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 7

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

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User Comments

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Still Screamin' - February 11, 2014 - Report this comment
Heavy laden with all this esoteric info, I am ready for heroinE's coup de grace.
Rob Arndt - February 11, 2014 - Report this comment
@SS (ha, ha)- the information is useful and is appreciated by some people here. It is obvious that since YOU take no interest in war, weapons, SFs or HRUs, that you have to say something negative about such topics. If you hate my serial parodies of certain OS or these topics, you should not click the links- period. No one is forcing you. And as for the goof with the E added to heroin, it was just a mistake. Every parodist has made them, or do you claim you are perfect? If so, provide true name and author sheet. I know vets here who have mis-spelled words, have made typos, used bad grammar, got the artist or song wrong, and misused certain words. Your use of esoteric is also misused as special forces and hostage rescue units are known by the general population. The weapons may not be, but you can look them up easily. And I gave the chronology too in simple English. So you are either dense or simply do not care. Others do. Your writings also suggest you are a female critic based on your various aliases and repetitious terminology. Btw, I do not use receational drugs. Have loads of prescription medication which I don't like to take. Am 50 and exercise everyday. I have SFs in my family too. As for this parody, I thought about the RCMP b/c I am watching "When Calls the Heart" on Hallmark and then thought of RCMP SERT and from there to little-known JTF-2. I don't sit around thinking about mundane topics to write about b/c chances are the same kind of topics have been done a million times before and usually to some Beatles song!!! I am me and everyone knows how I write and what about. I write to my strengths, not to others expectations. At least many people here have learned quite a lot from me due to my knowledge base. Can the same be said for you, Mr./Miss/Mrs. Anonymous???
Patrick - February 12, 2014 - Report this comment
One of the local stations runs a syndicated TV show "Flashpoint" about the Toronto Special Response Team. Never knew so many Canadian criminals ran around with guns. Very violent program.
Rob Arndt - February 12, 2014 - Report this comment
In JO's "When Calls the Heart" Hallmark Channel TV series, the RCMP constable is carrying nothing more than a rifle in the small coal town. True to life, they seldom carried revolvers back in the 19th century in the West. The rifle served to both hunt game and enforce the law. Uniform looks sharp. By comparison, JTF-2 wears many types of uniforms and gear, seemingly tailored for each mission. Weapons carried are numerous and still include oldies like the Browning HP and even S&W .357 Magnum Model 686 with various non-slip synthetic grips. I keep forgetting that that is still a SF/HRU weapon of choice. Was my brother's first major pistol after trainers. Hey Patrick, remember the days of the .22 training pistols? Usually guys back in '70s went from .22 trainer to .38 snub-nose to .357 or .44 Magnum revolvers. Revered back in the day were Mauser and Walther pistols, usually war trophies and of course the old M1911A-1 and Luger (which was made by DWM, Erfurt, Krieghoff, and Mauser)!!!

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