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Song Parodies -> "Suomi the Finns Used"

Original Song Title:

"I Put a Spell on You"

Original Performer:

Screamin' Jay Hawkins

Parody Song Title:

"Suomi the Finns Used"

Parody Written by:

Robert D. Arndt Jr.

The Lyrics

The famous Suomi was developed by Aimo Lahti and produced by the state factory Oy Tikkakoski AB. Lahti started development of the SMG in 1922 and had the first version, the M26, available by 1926. This used 7.63mm Mauser and had a sharply slanting 36 rd box mag. Not satisfied, Lahti refined the design into the 9mm Parabellum M31 which was a huge success and was used by Finland, Denmark, Sweden, and Switzerland. The only flaw was that it was heavy at nearly 12 lbs empty b/c it was made from machined and forged solid steel parts. That’s what made it robust and the long barrel gave it good range and accuracy. 900 rpm with 20 and 50 rd mags plus 40 and 71 rd drum mags- the latter of which was copied by the Soviets for their PPD/PPSh-41 SMGs. Lahti himself was inspired by the US Thompson’s 50 and 100 rd drum mags. One of a handful of very good SMGs of WW2: MP-40 (Ger), PPSh-41 and PPS-43 (USSR), Suomi M31 (Fin), Thompson (US), Sten and Sterling (GB), Owen (Australia), and Beretta 38/42 (It).
Suomi the Finns used
worked just fine

A. Lahti* design since ‘22
Sub-gun developin’

Took 4 years to make it
M26 was sound
M31 was more deadly
Big mags and drums filled with lots of rounds

[Reds copied the drum after mow-downs]**

Suomi the Finns used
It worked just fine
Killed (Red) swine!!!

Was old school***
Robust too
Was useful
It made the Red dogs pay
Gave them a scare
Influenced PPs(D/Sh-41)****
Red soldiers slain

[In the blood snow lay]

Suomi the Finns used
It worked just fine
(worked well like the German MPs)
* Aimo Lahti
** the 71 shot drum was copied for the PPDs & PPSh-41, Lahti inspied by the Thompson drums
*** “old school” was heavy- all parts machined or forged solid steel
**** experience in the Winter War against SMG-armed Finns

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Voting Results

Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 11

Voting Breakdown

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    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
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 4   0
 5   11

User Comments

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Patrick - February 07, 2014 - Report this comment
Are the Finnish and Soviet drum magazines interchangeable? Never had both to compare. Friend showed me a semi-auto he had blank adapted for reenacting the Winter War. Any excuse to buy a new gun.
Rob Arndt - February 09, 2014 - Report this comment
You would think so, b/c the early Soviet PPSh-41s actually took the 71 rd drum mag from the Suomi. Seems probable and yet still questionable as the Suomi was more versatile and could take 4 box mags (20, 36, 40, and 50 rd) + 2 drums (50 and 71 rd). The PPSh-41 by compariosn took only 1 mag (the 35 rd) and the copied 71 rd Suomi type. The PPS-43 took no drum, just a 35 rd box mag. Throughout weapon history, adaptations for enemy weapons and ammunition have been made and direct copying. But even if the later, any slight change can affect the compatibility. Maybe Susanna Viljanen might know! The Germans modified many foreign arms captured to take 9mm Parabellum in one form or another. Interesting story from WW2: The Germans copied the Sten Mk.2 as Gerat Potsdam and manufactured nearly 30,000 for guerilla warfare. The copies were so exact that Brit markings were copied as well. But they sat in stockpiles, not intended for the German Army at all. A few are seen with Waffen SS as propaganda pics, but it never saw any real action. A complete waste of time on another exotic scheme. The Werwolves that did fight post May-1945 used German Army, foreign, and improvised weapons (such as cane and umbrella guns). No Gerat Potsdam, EMP 44, nor MP-3008!!!
Patrick - February 10, 2014 - Report this comment
I once saw one of those Volksgewehr 7.92x33mm. Flat board stock. Magazine from an MP-44. Very crude, but I heard they worked. Brought a lot of money at auction.
Rob Arndt - February 11, 2014 - Report this comment
Patrick, the VSG was a Gustloff 1-5 series and was used in 1945 by the Volkssturm and some HJ/Werwolf guerillas postwar. Gustloff had tried to sell the German Polizei its P.40 of 7.65mm in 1940 and failed, even after sending one to Hitler himself. I find that the Volkspistolen were more interesting and here is a Russian page with most of them:

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