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Song Parodies -> "Ninjas of WW2"

Original Song Title:

"I Put a Spell on You"

 (MP3)
Original Performer:

Screamin' Jay Hawkins

Parody Song Title:

"Ninjas of WW2"

Parody Written by:

Robert D. Arndt Jr.

The Lyrics

There has always been a question of whether or not Japanese Ninjas were used in WW2 and until recently there was little evidence to prove so. But in 2012 documents came to light that prove that there were Ninjas used during the conflict. They were taught by the IJA for intelligence gathering with less emphasis on Ninjutsu and weapons, assassination attempts and sabotage, and more emphasis on infiltration and spying. As such, the modern Ninja of WW2 was taught 3 languages (Chinese, English, and Russian), topography, military science and history, and photography. Courses in Ninjutsu were also mandatory as well as weapons training and bomb-making, but these were secondary skills. Ninjas operated dispersed in occupied areas and gathered intel for the IJA. No official units were designated no symbology, no special weapons. Some fought on islands dressed as IJA soldiers and carried an Arisaka rifle but never fired a shot. They removed the bayonet and used it to jump American foxholes and kill silently. The Marines were particular targets and so were ordered to stay in their foxholes at night and fight. Orders were given to shoot anyone outside of their foxhole and many friendly fire incidents happened when Marines heard scuffles and screams and left to join in. They were shot down by their own men and this was covered -up. On the home islands it was a different story as tens of thousands of volunteers wanted to be trained as Ninjas for guerilla warfare and to don the black traditional garb again and use their historic weapons. Due to the A-bomb and surrender, this never materialized. Those few thousand accepted put on white martial arts clothing to be allowed to practice in the open seemingly "non-violent" martial arts and meditation during the occupation. Later, when Japan established a Self-Defense force it has been rumored for decades that a new Ninja unit is operating as secret HRU and spy network. During the embassy crisis in S America, Japan wanted to use this unit and was refused. So tales of the "Whispering Wind" continue.
Ninjas of WW2
’til ‘45

Taught at RNG IJA* school
Intel trainin’
Were infiltratin’

2k** graduated
SE Asia bound
Skills were just as deadly
But the black clothes they could do without

[No Ninja Units- they would stand out]

Ninjas of WW2
Until ‘45
Killed and died

Recon tools
Island schooled
New skills used
Foxhole battles were fought
Hit here and there
Invasion ready
But came to naught

[A-Bomb was dropped]

Not to be
Ninjas of WW2
Until ‘45
(They were spies so no assassination sprees)
* Rikugan Nakano Gakko, Imperial Japanese Army
** 2320 with thousands of 1945 volunteers in training
Although the Ninjas seemed to accomplish little in WW2, there are many Marine families that have been lied to about the deaths of their loved ones in battle. Many were killed by their own troops in friendly fire incidents caused by the Ninjas. The extent of Ninja spying and the IJA processing of that information is still unknown.

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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 3.9
How Funny: 3.9
Overall Rating: 3.9

Total Votes: 18

Voting Breakdown

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User Comments

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Ninja Joe - January 21, 2014 - Report this comment
Marines vs Ninjas in the Pacific??? FOR REAL??? Damn, now I gotta replace my Jap army men in my display with Ninjas! This is freakin' awesome, Robby. I think I will get into my dusty attic and brush off my Ninja gear from 1986 when that was popular on tv, in movies, and almost everything had a Ninja spin-off, like those motorcycles! I still have my Ninjato sword, my Kusarigama, my shurikens, tabi, outfit, and death masks. Masked Ninja had a name, but I can't recall what it was. This parody really takes me back to my Ninja obsession days- 5/5/5!!!
Bob Walker - January 21, 2014 - Report this comment
it's nice taking a break from funny songs, to read some good battle trivia. Please write more POW and internment songs. and write more about your service, you must be of Viet Nam age, and I know you were a frontline kind of guy
Patrick - January 22, 2014 - Report this comment
I once read about an Army major who deserted his men during fighting in North Africa. Rather than court martial him, which might have hurt morale, some other officers took him to an area outside the base where he was shot by a "German Sniper", actually an American marksman armed with a captured 98k. Presumably his family was told that he had been "killed in action". Every army throughout history has used spies, scouts, saboteurs. That the Japanese would find use for the stealth and speed of ninjas in WWII is no surprise at all. It would be in keeping with their martial culture.
Rob Arndt - January 22, 2014 - Report this comment
The Waffen SS had men sent to penal battalions and used many in operations. The most famous was probably the attempt to kill Marshall Tito in the spring of '44 at Dravar by SS Fallschirm-Battailon 500. Tito got word and escaped 20 mins earlier. Too bad! The SS also used criminals to kill partisans through the Dirlewanger Brigade. They killed 10s of thousands of people all over Europe and in Russia. They were even resented by the Einsatzkommandos and most of them were never tried for anything. As civilians, they simply melted away into E Europe and Scandanavia. I hope they find out more about the WW2 Ninjas and their spy network and combat. There are still too few books or individual accounts on very special forces of WW2: Brandenburg Commandos, NW-7, Volkssturm, SS Kampfschwimmers, German Naval Infantry, Luftwaffe Ground Units, Werwolves, Ramming Squads, Other Suicide Squads of various nations, Occult forces of Germany (Ahnenerbe) and Britain (part of MI5), etc... It is claimed that 1 million civilian volunteers in Japan would fight on the beaches to kill Allied forces if that happened in Nov 1945. Women were taught to use knives and repel rapists, make improvised weapons, and use poison on US troops. I wonder if any Kunoichi volunteered as WW2 Ninja?

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