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Song Parodies -> "Mau Mau Rifle No Good"

Original Song Title:

"I Put a Spell on You"

 (MP3)
Original Performer:

Screamin' Jay Hawkins

Parody Song Title:

"Mau Mau Rifle No Good"

Parody Written by:

Robert D. Arndt Jr.

The Lyrics

During the 1950s Mau Mau Uprising the guerillas produced a series of improvised rifles and pistols. The worst was the Mau Mau Rifle which was loosely based on the Lee-Enfield rifle but was rather cruder by comparison. It was made of cheap wood, the unrifled barrel was clamped to the furniture with a metal band, it had a poor bolt action, and trigger was on top. It weighed 3.5 lbs and fired .303 ammo (commonality with Brit arms). But like the Glisenti M1910 pistol the Mau Mau Rifle tended to explode when fired! It injured more users than Brit Colonial Troops! There were also improvised Mau Mau pistols of varying calibers that were just as crude...
Mau-Mau Rifle no good
blew-up most times

Guerillas needed rifle too
Designed sloppy
Poor (Lee-)Enfield copy

Was hard to handle it
Barrel band clamped it down
To user was deadly
Tended to explode when firing rounds

[Crude furniture, bolt action not sound]

Mau-Mau Rifle no good
It blew-up most times
Unrefined

Tough to shoot
Sights were crude
.303 used
Barrel was unrifled
But Rebs didn’t care
‘Bout simplicity
Sought Brit downfall

[O’er Kenyan soil]

Made with ease
Mau-Mau Rifle no good
It blew-up most times
(Problem was unreliability…)
http://media.iwm.org.uk/iwm/mediaLib/247/media-247432/large.jpg?action=d&cat=weapons%20and%20ammunition

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Pacing: 4.0
How Funny: 4.0
Overall Rating: 4.0

Total Votes: 8

Voting Breakdown

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User Comments

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Patrick - November 18, 2013 - Report this comment
Did you ever see a Richardson Guerilla Gun? Slam fire shotgun sold commercially in US by former soldier who saw similar guns in the Philippines during the war. Someone on youtube is showing off a "Noisy Cricket", a similar slamfire gun. I once saw an Afghan or Khyber Pass single shot pistol in .303 Enfield. Was planning to handload a very light cartridge to test fire it, but never got around to taking the risk. A fellow named Truby wrote a book many years ago with photos of some weird improv guns including the Mau Mau.
Rob Arndt - November 18, 2013 - Report this comment
Probably the best-known improvised weapons of modern times would be the IRA types in N Ireland, esp. the Loyalist SMG in 9mm which used square-frame tubing. Had a barrel shroud and a 34 rd box mag taken from the Brit Sterling. The EOKA guns are the most crude IMHO.
Rob Arndt - November 19, 2013 - Report this comment
Hey Patrick, if you read this, I might shortly do a parody with the CIA "Instant Cancer" gun which ranks up there with Russian radiological poisoning and microwave weapons!
Patrick - November 20, 2013 - Report this comment
A British fellow did time for publishing a book showing how he made a 9mm SMG from hardware store tubing and improvised parts. Look up P.A. Luty. Sad story.

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