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Song Parodies -> "Russian "Strike One" is New"

Original Song Title:

"I Put a Spell on You"

 (MP3)
Original Performer:

Screamin' Jay Hawkins

Parody Song Title:

"Russian "Strike One" is New"

Parody Written by:

Robert D. Arndt Jr.

The Lyrics

The Russian "Strike One" (Strizh in Russian- Swift Bird) is a strange gun. It is marketed by Arsenal which is Russian but listed as an Italian/Russian weapon. Arsenal has offices in Italy and Austria but I do not think they have any input on the development of this design. Perhaps Italy has expressed interest for a police version. Anyway, the gun is a 9x19 mm with polymer frame, a lower railing, barrel grooves to fit silencers, and has the capability to fire 3 different rounds (with minor adjustments). But its most unusual feature is a recoil mechanism based on the old MARS system but heavily modified to sustain fire and allow control with low climb. The internal mechanisms are complex. Still, the gun comes with a standard 17 rd mag and ability to take dual stack box mags. A carbine version has a 12" barrel and other variants for Spetsnaz have selective fire, special railings for optics, the silencer or suppressor capability, and the ability to fire special developmental rounds. The gun is still in development with potential military and police applications for Russia and Europe.
Russian “Strike One” is new
odd design

Different versions, quite a few
AP packin’
Weird recoil action

Still, a demand for it
Takes multiple rounds
Carbine version handy
Longer range to take enemies down

[Silencers or suppressors kill sound]

Russian “Strike One” is new
An odd design
Low climb

Railing grooves
Burst fire too
Lots to choose
Has Spetsnaz variant
Frame, polymer
Dual-stack box mags ease
Shooting, pleasant

[As it was meant]

Mil/PO treat
Russian “Strike One” is new
An odd design
(Hard to beat)



http://world.guns.ru/userfiles/images/handguns/russia/1340218662.jpg http://world.guns.ru/userfiles/images/handguns/russia/1340218689.jpg http://world.guns.ru/userfiles/images/handguns/russia/1331744466.jpg

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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 4.5
How Funny: 4.2
Overall Rating: 4.3

Total Votes: 10

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

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 4   1
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User Comments

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Dennis Allen - May 01, 2013 - Report this comment
Why do all russian guns look ugly even with quality over quantity?
Callmelennie - May 01, 2013 - Report this comment
I've had that same observation, Dennis. In WWII, Germans had aesthetically beautiful weapons (like the Luger)while the Russian weapons were butt ugly. But they were deadly, not to mention rugged, as hell
Rob Arndt - May 01, 2013 - Report this comment
CML, the Luger, although used in WW2, was more of a WW1 weapon as the P-38 was the official sidearm. Waffen SS initially used old Mauser C-96s and German paras used the Sauer 38(H) as well as foreign arms stocks when captured. The Soviet-era weapons were to be mass produced so they were simplified and rugged. More Soviet troops in WW2 carried the PPSh-41 SMG than Nagant rifles and seldom used pistols unless under German attack or occupation. As rugged and lethal as Soviet weapons were in WW2, the German counterparts were still better in every category (P-38 pistol, MP-40 SMG, STG-44 assault rifle, MGs 34 and 42, and sniper was any WW2 rifle with a 4x scope mounted!). The Russian SMG only has mass-production superiority over the MP-40. Today, the post-Soviet weapons are far better and more competitive in the world. The AK-series of rifles are certainly the most rugged assault rifles on earth and most produced at over 60 million. That has a lethal beauty all its own (taken of course from the WW2 MP-43/STG-43/STG-44 family with cartridge). The German weapons remain high-quality and complex, more revolutionary than evolutionary. The G-11 caseless would have made the AK-series look like scrap metal, but was cancelled due to reunification costs. HK's 416, 417, G-36 and XM-8 offspring are still well-made but politically volatile as Congress blocked the adoption of the XM-8 and G-11 in the past 2 times a new US ACR was considered, saving Colt's ass a total of 3 times (first was with AAI's ACR). Russian pistols are better made now, but lack durability. Most pistols in the world made by anyone cannot compete with HK and Walther for performance, German guns able to blow through 50,000+ rds w/o barrel warp, stoppages or jams of any kind. Most world don't even make it to 10,000 rds and US pistols are poor performers. But what looks ugly to one may be beautiful to another. To me the Colt 1911A and Kimbers look like heavy pieces of junk compared to my Walther P-99QA and the new PPQ. I think that's a matter of patriotism and historical ratings vs modernality and function. Just my opinion as a gun owner and historian...

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