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Song Parodies -> "PDW Worldwide Use"

Original Song Title:

"I Put a Spell on You"

 (MP3)
Original Performer:

Screamin' Jay Hawkins

Parody Song Title:

"PDW Worldwide Use"

Parody Written by:

Robert D. Arndt Jr.

The Lyrics

What packs the penetration and lethality of an advanced assault rifle but handles like a pistol? The revolutionary HK MP-7 PDW (Personal Defense Weapon) favored by any Army, SFs, HRUs, and VIP Protection details like the Secret Service! Developed around a new 4.6x30mm round, the MP-7 is lightweight (3.5 lbs), compact (14.96" w/o silencer and butt retracted), is made of advanced polymer design with embedded metals, has a 40 rd mag, upper and side railings for any number of attachments, threaded for silencers, has a fold-down foregrip, and ROF of 950 rpm! German KSK got it first in 2002 but then a wide range of nations purchased the weapon for SF and HRU work. US SFs and the Secret Service favor it over the MP-5- a trend that is catching on all over the world. It can be fired with one or both hands as well as from the shoulder with stock extended and is ambidexterous. Can be field stripped w/o tools and hardly needs any cleaning due to its unique gas system. Has patented HK RRS (Recoil Recovery System) and uses G-36 rifle components internally. Can mount just about any optics, any silencers, and other lasers/light systems. At 50 yards is capable of firing 10-shot groups at 2" or less. One bad-ass weapon that is now overshadowing the world-popular MP-5 which has 40+ versions. The PDW can be similarly reconfigured. Teutonic magic...
PDW worldwide use
but not in 9 (mm)

HK MP-7 now in use
German design
Compact and refined

Terrorists can’t stand it
Weighs less than 4 lbs
4.6 (mm) is deadly
Uses a variety of rounds

[Can bring a CRISAT vest-wearer down]

PDW worldwide use
but not in 9 (mm)
This time

It can shoot
It can shoot
It can shoot
Handles like a pistol
Fits anywhere
Great accuracy
Kills like a rifle

[Has that SF style]

Best MP
PDW worldwide use
but not in 9 (mm)
(Overshadows SMG popularity???)
http://world.guns.ru/userfiles/images/smg/smg49/hk_mp7_a.jpg

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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 4.8
Overall Rating: 4.8

Total Votes: 13

Voting Breakdown

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User Comments

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LPG-Unit - January 10, 2013 - Report this comment
9000 "I Put a Spell on You" parodies later...
Patrick - January 10, 2013 - Report this comment
Will Obama order his protection staff to turn these in when the peasants are ordered to give up their multi-shot firearms?
Rob Arndt - January 10, 2013 - Report this comment
Patrick, Obama must REALLY be worried about assassination since the SS (Secret Service) is packing German SF weapons over US? Oh that's right, US SFs ALSO prefer German too (think SOCOM) ;-)

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