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Song Parodies -> "“Black Buck” Missions You Flew"

Original Song Title:

"I Put a Spell on You"

 (MP3)
Original Performer:

Screamin' Jay Hawkins

Parody Song Title:

"“Black Buck” Missions You Flew"

Parody Written by:

Robert D. Arndt Jr.

The Lyrics

Just when the Avro Vulcan Cold War V-Bomber was about to be retired, Argentina attacked the Falklands in 1982 and the UK quickly needed them for bombing attacks on Port Stanley. The refuel probes and systems had not been used for so long that the valves needed replacing and new jamming pods were installed. Weapons carried would be Shrike missiles to take-out enemy search radars and the Vulcans would carry a bombload of 21x 1000 lb bombs for a total distance of 8689 miles- the longest in military history for the time from Ascension Island to the Falklands. The codename was "Black Buck" and for the mission 5 Vulcans were modified, supported by 15 Victor tankers running in relay sorties. It took 5 refuelings to get to the Falklands plus one on return. The distance was so long b/c the Vulcans did not fly in a straight line, so no predictability. Although not militarily that significant, the bombing of the Port Stanley runway proved that the UK could not only reach the Falklands but could attack Argentina as well. Only in ODS in 1991 did B-52s fly longer from Louisiana all the way to Iraq! The engines on the Vulcan operated at 103% during the "Black Buck" missions and the crew enlarged to six. Portable toilets were also installed. As a delta the Vulcan could fly higher and faster than contemporaries B-52 and Tu-95 (close to 650 mph at 65,000 ft)!
“Black Buck” missions you flew
longest time

The UK had something to prove
Attack Falklands
With Avro Vulcan

Deltas could handle it
Were Port Stanley bound
The bomb load was deadly
Carried Shrikes and 21,000 lbs!

[Cut the runway to slow Argies down]

“Black Buck” missions you flew
longest time
Range 8689 (miles)

Did refuel
Did refuel
Did refuel
At six times overall
Victor tankers
Did the refueling
Tanker fleet not small

[Relay sortie call]

History
“Black Buck” missions you flew
longest time
(Only exceeded by B-52s for Gulf War needs)

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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 4.8
How Funny: 4.8
Overall Rating: 4.8

Total Votes: 13

Voting Breakdown

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    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
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 3   1
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 4   0
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 5   12
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