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Song Parodies -> "If I Could Only Buy a Brain"
Original Song Title:
"If I Only Had a Brain"
Original Performer:
Scarecrow (Wizard of Oz)
Parody Song Title:
"If I Could Only Buy a Brain"
Parody Written by:
Patrick McWilliams
The Lyrics
I've decided for my convenience to arrange the three characters' songs as stand-alone parodies, although they are sung together in the film. Once upon a time, before they succumbed to political correctness, eBay allowed people to offer their souls for sale on the auction site. I'm looking for something a bit more, eh "tangible".
I don't while away the hours
Injecting sap from flowers*
Or snorting some cocaine
I get stupid without drinking
I'm incapable of thinking
'cause I haven't got a brain
How my wallet's getting fatter
Though my intellect's in tatters
I simply can't explain
But I would pay a million dollars
I don't care if eBay hollers
If I could only buy a brain
Why, oh why, can't I find someone who'll sell
Lot's of folks aren't using theirs
And my head's an empty shell
Someone offered me a loaner
From, he says, a "willing" donor
Seeking monetary gain
But the way I hear 'em tell it
It's against the law to sell it
So I cannot buy a brain
Injecting sap from flowers*
Or snorting some cocaine
I get stupid without drinking
I'm incapable of thinking
'cause I haven't got a brain
How my wallet's getting fatter
Though my intellect's in tatters
I simply can't explain
But I would pay a million dollars
I don't care if eBay hollers
If I could only buy a brain
Why, oh why, can't I find someone who'll sell
Lot's of folks aren't using theirs
And my head's an empty shell
Someone offered me a loaner
From, he says, a "willing" donor
Seeking monetary gain
But the way I hear 'em tell it
It's against the law to sell it
So I cannot buy a brain
* ("Poppies! Poppies will put them to sleep").
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Pretty smart parody.
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