-> "Delights of the Garden"
Original Song Title:
"The Limerick Song"
Parody Song Title:
"Delights of the Garden"
The Lyrics
TRACTOR-SEAT PLANT
It's my fantasy: tractor-seat plants —
Where I perch in my workshirt and pants.
How far-fetched! But Farfugium
(Dark leaves: seat-shaped, huge-um)
Should shady bare gardens enhance.
CREPE MYRTLE
The robust Asian transplant crepe myrt-
-le, will beautify palace or yurt.
If you feel you must prune,
Not severe, not in June;
With 'crepe murder' these hardy trees hurt.
CREEPING FIG
Creeping fig, also known as fig-vine,
Finds direct Southern sun is like fryin'.
Near a door, shaded brick —
A few plants cover quick.
Finely trim for intriguing design!
NORWAY MAPLE
I'm a deep-urban gardener who learns
Rather slowly, that most plant-life spurns
O'erhead A. platanoid-
-es; your sets get destroyed;
Few survive, but the thrivers are ferns.
JAPANESE YEW
We've two homes hedged by 'Japanese yew'
Where it's crucial to shield neighbours' view;
Searched the South, and twigged, sharp us,
To the lush Podocarpus;
For the North, common Taxus makes do.
EASTERN MOLES
Eastern moles shun our sun-drenched solarium;
They have fun as they trench their 'terrarium'.
Our lawn's riddled with knolls
Where moles tunnels their holes.
With malevolence, I'd like to bury'um.
(Or abolish their habits, or vary'um)
GAZEBOS
To Victorian charms of gazebos:
Watch the belles, snatch a snooze, catch the breeze, beaus.
Belvedere or rotunda,
Peaked roof, shelter under—
It's like pills for life's ills, not placebos.
THE CHARLESTON GARDEN *
In peninsular Charleston you'll find
Gardens terraced and brick walls fig-vined,
(Hosts will boast, "Nothing finer —
Loutrel Briggs, the designer")
Where refined folks recline and unwind.
* The "Charleston garden" became an iconic horticultural form primarily due to the work of landscape architect Loutrel Briggs (1893–1977).
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Voting Results
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Pacing: | 2.0 | |
How Funny: | 1.5 | |
Overall Rating: | 1.5 | |
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Total Votes: | 11 |
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