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Song Parodies -> "The Limericks of Canada Day"

Original Song Title:

"The Limerick Song (traditional)"

Original Performer:

sactoGranny

Parody Song Title:

"The Limericks of Canada Day"

Parody Written by:

Giorgio Coniglio's Grandson (ed.); various authors

The Lyrics

This effort should have appeared on July 1 to mark the celebration; however, it can be enjoyed any day, in Canada or elsewhere.
[1a]: A British Columbian said,
“Where’s the place that I lay down my head?
No, it’s not Bogotá,
And not Leamington Spa,
But it’s fine old Vancouver instead!”

[1b]: It’s where Canada’s cattlemen toil
And miners check tar sands for oil;
It’s where prairies of wheat
And the tall Rockies meet.
All are found on Alberta’s rich soil.

[2]: Just ask farmers out in Saskatchewan
- The square province out west there?
Yes, that’s the one. -
Want a duck or a goose
Or a deer or a moose?
They’ll just jump in their pickup and catch you one.

[2]: The winters in old Manitoba
Are atrocious if faced stone-cold sober
That’s why in Winnipeg
They drink beer by the keg,
Commencing in early October.

[2]: There’s no place that’s less adversarial
Than that gracious host-province,
Ontario.
Christian, Muslim or Jew,
They don’t care what you do -
You’re respected from birth until burial.

[3]: There was a small boy of Quebec
Who was buried in snow to his neck;
When asked, “Are you friz?”
He replied, “Yes, I is;
But we don’t call this cold in Quebec.”

[2]: You can’t help but feel the emotion
And the bond people have with the ocean
Have a swim, catch a fish,
Visit Aunt Igonish.
There’s so much to do in Nova Scotia.

Ritardando:
[2]: “Excuse me, kind sir, is this NEW-foundland ?”
“That depends; it’s a question of WHO-foundland.”
“True, if I found land, few
Would consider it new,
But, a lost sheep, would she find it EWE-foundland ?”

[2]: While it’s not on your regular cruiser-route
For me, there is no place like Nunavut
Eat some seal in Iqaluit
Yessir, raw’s how you swallow it
It’s delicious; ask any stray Malamute.

[2]: Not one blade of grass, not a tree
For as far as your squint-eyes can see
You’ll see pack-ice and snow,
Wherever you go.
Just to summarize N.W.T.

[4]: You can’t find any rhymes for a lum’rick
To remind of the charms of New Brunswick.
As for the Yu-kon -
Let’s not dwell thereupon,
And forget about Prince Edward Island.

[4]: The French accent used by Québecois, (-cwa)
Doesn’t equal la langue spoke by moi (mwa) -
In ‘joual’ what they say
Sounds much more like ‘mo-ay’ -
So stay quiet or say, “Mo-é, j’parle pas.”

[1c]: There once was a saucy young wench
Who spoke in Canadian French.
From Moncton to Québec,
She left men in a wreck,
Giving hearts (and more parts) quite a wrench.

[1d]: Uncle Maxwell is going to die
And a lifetime of drinking is why.
An unreachable goal
From his youth took its toll.
Ads had told him, “Drink Canada Dry.”

[1e]: Three colonies *, each on its own,
Came together to form a new zone.
Thus, in CONFEDERATION
Was born a new nation.
Now look at how Canada’s grown !

[4]: There once was a man, a Canuck,
Who treasured his mask, stick and puck,
‘Til his daughter’s vile crime -
- Stole Dad’s team’s practice-time -
In the ruckus, Dad’s puck, it got took.

[1] Poems from OEDILF, the limerick-dictionary project; a "neilski"; b "sigg"; c "Aliza" d Chris J. Strolin, editor; e Roger Vick.
[2] Poems by Adrian deKuyper, modified.
[3] Poem by Rudyard Kipling.
[4] Lyrics by Giorgio Coniglio
This collection is among the nonsense you can discover at Giorgio's Ukable Parodies.

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Pacing: 3.5
How Funny: 3.5
Overall Rating: 3.5

Total Votes: 26

Voting Breakdown

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 3   1
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 4   1
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GCG - July 18, 2016 - Report this comment
As much of this work is not originally my own, but I have functioned as editor, I had intended this submission to be attributed to "Giorgio Coniglio's Grandson (ed.); various authors". It is the third post of this type.
Patrick - July 18, 2016 - Report this comment
A nice lesson in the history of our northern neighbor.And, you were up to the challenge of rhyming Saskatchewan. i also think I now know how to pronounce Nunavut.
!!! - July 19, 2016 - Report this comment
Limericks originated with drunks, derived from drinking songs of the filthy and perverted. No wonder they're so popular with WOPs!
Dr Giorgio Coniglio dec - July 19, 2016 - Report this comment
The acronym that you unintentionally used stand for "Workers of Peace", a benevolent group. Limericks as we know them derive primarily from the 19th century social and childrens' entertainment books by Edward Lear; and they have been used by Mark Twain, Rudyard Kipling, Ogden Nash, Isaac Asimov and many other authors. It's not too hard to check these things out on the web, eh? You'll find a bucketful of limericks for kids. Or, if you want a dictionary in limerick format, google "OEDILF".
Rob Arndt - July 19, 2016 - Report this comment
Poetry sources state that historically, the limerick started in France in the 11th century by French poets and worked it's way over to England and then to Ireland where it took hold. The name Limerick is from the town in Ireland. FYI
Etaoin Shrdlu - July 19, 2016 - Report this comment
I can't find a reference for Workers of Peace, so maybe Giorgio is joking. Anyway, it's unlikely that a group would choose a title whose acronym is an epithet aimed at people of Italian descent. Many Italians immigrated here WithOut Papers to identify them. Btw, we have quite the sick troll spreading his/her disease here. Besides Italians, he/she hates all Serbs and God knows who else. As you can see from my name, I am not a troll, but half-Serb, half-Linotype. FYI.
Rob Arndt - July 19, 2016 - Report this comment
Perhaps he meant either Workers for Peace or Workers at Peace. An Israeli group is Social Workers of Peace...
Etaoin Shrdlu - July 20, 2016 - Report this comment
Giorgio, have you run across the great limerick about the wolf in sheep's clothing? Think hard.
GC'sG - July 28, 2016 - Report this comment
@Mr. Shrdlu. No. Please provide same.
Etaoin Shrdlu - July 28, 2016 - Report this comment
When the moon waxes full in the sky
This maroon starts to loosen his tie
And, like beasts found in zoos,
Has the least need for shoes --
He's a lunatic wolf kind of guy.

The above refers to the Wolf Man, but I was merely outing the Wop Man.
GC'sG - July 28, 2016 - Report this comment
@Mr. Shrdlu: From the world of poetry, re "outing" ..... / There's a sign at your desk, where you grin / That satirically states, "Racist: In" / 'Though you wish hatred dead / Words you left on my thread / Make your welcome here wear rather thin. /
Etaoin Shrdlu - July 28, 2016 - Report this comment
I copied the limerick (accompanied by a picture of Lon Chaney, Jr.) from the very bottom of http://limoday.blogspot.com/2014_03_01_archive.html I then was curious about "maroon" and I discovered a definition previously unknown to me. Don't be so quick to judge. If you don't wish your pure thread sullied, have the limerick deleted.

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