-> "The Limericks of Canada Day"
Original Song Title:
"The Limerick Song (traditional)"
Parody Song Title:
"The Limericks of Canada Day"
Parody Written by:
Giorgio Coniglio's Grandson (ed.); various authors
[1a]: A British Columbian said,
“Where’s the place that I lay down my head?
No, it’s not Bogotá,
And not Leamington Spa,
But it’s fine old Vancouver instead!”
[1b]: It’s where Canada’s cattlemen toil
And miners check tar sands for oil;
It’s where prairies of wheat
And the tall Rockies meet.
All are found on Alberta’s rich soil.
: Just ask farmers out in Saskatchewan
- The square province out west there?
Yes, that’s the one. -
Want a duck or a goose
Or a deer or a moose?
They’ll just jump in their pickup and catch you one.
: The winters in old Manitoba
Are atrocious if faced stone-cold sober
That’s why in Winnipeg
They drink beer by the keg,
Commencing in early October.
: There’s no place that’s less adversarial
Than that gracious host-province,
Christian, Muslim or Jew,
They don’t care what you do -
You’re respected from birth until burial.
: There was a small boy of Quebec
Who was buried in snow to his neck;
When asked, “Are you friz?”
He replied, “Yes, I is;
But we don’t call this cold in Quebec.”
: You can’t help but feel the emotion
And the bond people have with the ocean
Have a swim, catch a fish,
Visit Aunt Igonish.
There’s so much to do in Nova Scotia.
: “Excuse me, kind sir, is this NEW-foundland ?”
“That depends; it’s a question of WHO-foundland.”
“True, if I found land, few
Would consider it new,
But, a lost sheep, would she find it EWE-foundland ?”
: While it’s not on your regular cruiser-route
For me, there is no place like Nunavut
Eat some seal in Iqaluit
Yessir, raw’s how you swallow it
It’s delicious; ask any stray Malamute.
: Not one blade of grass, not a tree
For as far as your squint-eyes can see
You’ll see pack-ice and snow,
Wherever you go.
Just to summarize N.W.T.
: You can’t find any rhymes for a lum’rick
To remind of the charms of New Brunswick.
As for the Yu-kon -
Let’s not dwell thereupon,
And forget about Prince Edward Island.
: The French accent used by Québecois, (-cwa)
Doesn’t equal la langue spoke by moi (mwa) -
In ‘joual’ what they say
Sounds much more like ‘mo-ay’ -
So stay quiet or say, “Mo-é, j’parle pas.”
[1c]: There once was a saucy young wench
Who spoke in Canadian French.
From Moncton to Québec,
She left men in a wreck,
Giving hearts (and more parts) quite a wrench.
[1d]: Uncle Maxwell is going to die
And a lifetime of drinking is why.
An unreachable goal
From his youth took its toll.
Ads had told him, “Drink Canada Dry.”
[1e]: Three colonies *, each on its own,
Came together to form a new zone.
Thus, in CONFEDERATION
Was born a new nation.
Now look at how Canada’s grown !
: There once was a man, a Canuck,
Who treasured his mask, stick and puck,
‘Til his daughter’s vile crime -
- Stole Dad’s team’s practice-time -
In the ruckus, Dad’s puck, it got took.
 Poems from OEDILF, the limerick-dictionary project; a "neilski"; b "sigg"; c "Aliza" d Chris J. Strolin, editor; e Roger Vick.
 Poems by Adrian deKuyper, modified.
 Poem by Rudyard Kipling.
 Lyrics by Giorgio Coniglio
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