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Song Parodies -> "If I Were A Spammer"

Original Song Title:

"If I Had A Hammer"

Original Performer:

Rich Brown

Parody Song Title:

"If I Were A Spammer"

Parody Written by:

Bessie Treshold

The Lyrics

If I were a spammer
I'd clammor in the Newsgroups
I'd yammer in your e-mail,
Incessantly

I'd spam about Green Cards
I'd spam about Phone Sex
I'd spam about Vet Bills For My Little Kitty "Lucky"
'Cause I'd want more - money for me

If I were a zealot
I'd yell it to the Usenet
I'd sell it in my Web page,
Persistantly

I'd tell ya' 'bout Thetans
I'd tell ya' 'bout Aryans
I'd tell ya' 'bout How I Hate The Heathans And The Perverts
'Cause I'd want more - power for me

Well I'm not a spammer
And I'm no zealot
But I'll defend them,
Reluctantly

If my choice is Those Guys
Or Exon's "Decency"
I'm stickin' with the Net That Has The Spammers And The Zealots
'Cause I want more - freedom for me

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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 1

Voting Breakdown

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User Comments

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neminem - October 09, 2003 - Report this comment
Misspelled "heathens." Also, this parody's already been done - I generally check to make sure that something hasn't been written already before I start writing one. Not too bad a job, though.
Phil Alexander - October 09, 2003 - Report this comment
(nearly) the same title as Malcolm's, but IMO this one's a bit more thoughtful - I like the premise that balances spam and freedom against no spam and a less free internet.
Bessie - October 09, 2003 - Report this comment
Thanx for all the nice votes and comments!
Claude Prez - October 09, 2003 - Report this comment
I love anything that recognizes freedom is a two-way street. Great job.
John Jenkins - October 09, 2003 - Report this comment
Very good conclusion and very good first parody. I hope there are more to follow.
Carl Perkins - October 10, 2003 - Report this comment
This song is already done, did you really write this one Bessie?
Bessie - October 10, 2003 - Report this comment
Carl! Well duh, yeah I did....
Joany - June 05, 2015 - Report this comment
Hmmm... 12 years ago. :) I was a kid at this moment

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