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Song Parodies -> "I Stammer Lots"

Original Song Title:


Original Performer:

Richard Burton

Parody Song Title:

"I Stammer Lots"

Parody Written by:


The Lyrics

So bad, and sad, a problem that was mine,
Bad as a touch of poison ivy vine

When, as an infant child, I began speaking
My talk was different from most other tots
The consonants and vowels were stiffly peaking
I stam..mered lots...

My words bounced like hard snowballs in December
Lips moved like starched, and tongue was tied in knots
Embarrassing in school, that first September,
To stam..mer lots...
Stammer lots..stammer lots..

Self conscious me, I felt bizarre
When I stammered lots, stammered lots,
I wanted to run far..

I prayed each day for four-o-clock to happen
Was so relieved when that big hand drew near
Had it's tight grip on me
Just wanted to go back home and disappear
Not stam..mer lots..

Stammer lots, stammer lots
Between each word, a painful pause
When you stammer lots, stammer lots
Hard to get through a clause..

I fin'lly overcame this bad condition
Put pebbles in my mouth, and words came clear
But I did not suspect,
One minor side effect;
My stuttering stopped, but choked to death last year..
(No more) stam..mer lots..

(from my.. grave...plots..)

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Matches Pace of
Original Song: 
How Funny: 
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Voting Results

Pacing: 4.6
How Funny: 4.8
Overall Rating: 4.8

Total Votes: 9

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   1
 2   0
 3   0
 4   0
 5   8

User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

Old Man Ribber - August 31, 2010 - Report this comment
Good job, AFW! I don't stammer...I stutter. Everytime I try to give you a 5, it comes out 5-5-5! ;D
Llllernnner & Llllooewwwe - August 31, 2010 - Report this comment
E-excelllent w-work!
AFW - August 31, 2010 - Report this comment
Thanks, OMR..funny comment....and thanks, L&L..also funny
C-C-Christie M-Marie M-m-m-m- - August 31, 2010 - Report this comment
C-c-c-cool satire, AFW! Here's fuh-fuh-fives!! G-g-great work!
AFW - August 31, 2010 - Report this comment
Also thanks to Christie
Fiddlegirl - August 31, 2010 - Report this comment
Love those show tunes! Clever... and great ending twist! 555
MadameDeRinger - August 31, 2010 - Report this comment
Sir l'AIR de Farce, ~ Duke oSutter~ thios is quite good, Sir ! ! I do remember Grandma & her ' Wringer', too! story: a boy got his arm into the wringer roller . . . Grandma was so upset, that she put the Wringer in Reverse ! ! So he had to 'get rolled' twice ! ! yikes ! No bones broken, just sore!
Mark Scotti - August 31, 2010 - Report this comment
"It's KKKKen, coming to KKKILL me!"(Shameless "Fish Called Wanda" plug). LOL
AFW - August 31, 2010 - Report this comment
Thanks, Fg. Madame, and Mark...NOTE: this parody was not meant to make light of anyone with a speech impediment...
Demosthenes - August 31, 2010 - Report this comment
Out of everyone here, I'm disappointed that the lady with the Master's in Liberal Arts/Education didn't pick up the pebble reference - and impressed that you knew of it. 555.

Appreciate the disclaimer in the last comment, but unlike many defects that are congenital, stuttering can usually be cured by voice coaching and therapy. Hey, it worked for me! I never stuTTer any more!
AFW - September 01, 2010 - Report this comment
Thanks, TT..always look forward,(and often, even look backward and read them again) to your entertaining and tutorial should be a writer, and/or a sketch player on dance that tightrope between sophistication and slapstick, so well
FG @ Demosthenes - September 01, 2010 - Report this comment
Just because I didn't directly mention the pebbles in my comment doesn't mean I missed the reference! (So there.) ;)
Demosthenes @ FG and AFW - September 01, 2010 - Report this comment
FG: I've lost a debate! Busted! :)

AFW: Thanks much .... could you tell that to Lorne Whatsisname?) (keep wanting to say Greene, but that's not right) Would be a Bonanza for my career!

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