Making fun of music, one song at a time. Since the year 2000.
Check out the two amIright misheard lyrics books including one book devoted to misheard lyrics of the 1980s.
(Toggle Right Side Navigation)

Song Parodies -> "If I Only Had an Ass"

Original Song Title:

"If I Only Had a Brain"

Original Performer:

Ray Bolger

Parody Song Title:

"If I Only Had an Ass"

Parody Written by:

Veronica Frimmit

The Lyrics

Apologies to Harold Arlen and E.Y. Harburg.
I could lounge outside for hours
enjoying all the flowers
and not slide to the grass.
And my cheeks could be a-sleepin'
While my cell phone was a-beepin'
If I only had an ass.

I'd get back at every dufus
who said I had no tuckus
and said I had no class
With the butt that I'd showing
I could do my own J. Lo'ing
If I only had an ass.

Oh I could wear a thong
and go to clubs where I'd belong
I could boogie like I've never done before
And then I'd shake, and shake some more.

I would not be just a nothin'
My jeans all full of stuffin'
and me a lonely lass
I would laugh and I'd be crooning
The whole world I'd be mooning
If I only had an ass.
This song is also at asinine poetry.

Your Vote & Comment Counts

The parody authors spend a lot of time writing parodies for the website and they appreciate feedback in the form of votes and comments. Please take some time to leave a comment below about this parody.

Place Your Vote

Matches Pace of
Original Song: 
How Funny: 
Overall Score: 

In order for your vote to count, you need to hit the 'Place Your Vote' button.

Voting Results

Pacing: 4.8
How Funny: 4.5
Overall Rating: 4.8

Total Votes: 6

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
 2   0
 3   0
 4   1
 5   5

User Comments

Parody author did not authorize comments for this parody.

Link To This Page

The address of this page is: For help, see the examples of how to link to this page.

This is view # 3636