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Song Parodies -> "The HAZCOM Song"

Original Song Title:

"The Thing"

Original Performer:

Phil Harris

Parody Song Title:

"The HAZCOM Song"

Parody Written by:

Marsh Carroll

The Lyrics

The HAZCOM Song is a parody of the OSHA Hazard Communication Standard.
I strolled into receiving one dry cold sunny day
Packages and boxes in total disarray
They had no HMIS labels or identifying marks
I got out of there with the BOOM BOOM BOOM to avoid the sparks.
I got out of there with the BOOM BOOM BOOM to avoid the sparks.

When I entered the labor force I had no Hazcom smarts
All around the flammables I would play lawn darts
Didn’t know the government had a master plan
To label nasty bottles and leave Afghanistan
To label nasty bottles and leave Afghanistan

Hazardous Materials Identification System
It sure is a mouthful but you better lesson
Substances must be labeled at your place of work
A legal responsibility that you cannot shirk
A legal responsibility that you cannot shirk.

Hazcom became a law in the 1980’s
Reagan was the bossman and I was making babies
The main focus is the worker’s right to know
So everything is labeled from head right down to toe
Yes, everything is labeled from head right down to toe.

Hazcom written programs list precautionary measures
First aid procedures and other sordid treasures
Risk phrases are shown like may explode if held
Highly irritating like Newman on Seinfeld
Highly irritating like Newman on Seinfeld

The Fire Guys use diamonds, the painters all use bars
E.T. used a Speak and Spell when labeling on Mars
No matter the state you’re in – Solid, Liquid, Gas
Learn the hazard symbols from Alaska down to Mass
Learn the hazard symbols from Alaska down to Mass

OSHA has created a rich vocabulary
There’s even an icon if you can’t eat dairy
Lethal dose 50 and pH play a role
Hey! Affix them to my wife’s tuna casserole!
Hey! Affix them to my wife’s tuna casserole!

Hazards can enter your body in many ways
Like absorption – soaking in mayonnaise
What? You think that problem is rather small?
Imagine the increase in your cholesterol.
Imagine the increase in your cholesterol.

We keep MSDS in binders and online
You know what to do if you’re drenched in turpentine
Consult MSDS, take the correct action.
Workplace safety is concrete, not an abstraction.
Workplace safety is concrete, not an abstraction.

Women of Wooster, Men of Montana State
Learn the rules know so we can celebrate
At the Christmas party, show off what you know
And you might get a great big kiss under HMISletoe
Yes you will get a great big kiss under HMISletoe

So what was the boom boom boom, it is fair to ask.
Handling it should you wear goggles and a mask?
Read the Hazcom programs, they’ll tell you every time
It was my Granny’s chicken soup and that’s my final rhyme.
It was my Granny’s chicken soup and that’s my final rhyme.

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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 2

Voting Breakdown

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User Comments

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BJM - March 07, 2011 - Report this comment
Hilarious spoof of just one arm of the nanny state! Break a CFL. 5s
If only the box that Phil Harris found had been HAZMAT labelled ...
Patrick - March 07, 2011 - Report this comment
I worked in a typesetting shop that was visited by OSHA. They prepared a list of all the "hazardous" materials they found. Among the expected items such as film developing fluids they also listed a wide-tip felt marker pen, presumably because it could be sniffed.

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