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Song Parodies -> "There's No Baritones In The Symphony"

Original Song Title:

"Home For The Holidays"

Original Performer:

Perry Como

Parody Song Title:

"There's No Baritones In The Symphony"

Parody Written by:

Old Man Ribber

The Lyrics

If (like me) you play the baritone (aka baritone horn, euphonium), then you'd better get used to performing only in marching, military, and concert bands. This instrument is scarcely ever used in an orchestra and, in the rare cases which it is required, it is played by a doubling trombonist. To make matters worse, it has absolutely no use in popular music (excepting German bands at Octoberfest). Those who say that the trombone is the least commercial instrument should remember the following fact: A baritone player plays trombone for commercial reasons! ;D




Oh there's no baritone in the symphony.
It's an instrument for wind bands alone.
If an orchestra is the place you'd like to be,
Then you'd better learn to play the darn trombone.

The baritone or the euphonium to most is something strange.
You won't know it if you've never played in band.
It is a half-size tuba, rich in sound. It's in the tenor range.
But it never has its own part playing Beethoven or Mozart.

Oh there's no baritone in the symphony.
It's a fact that we low brass guys bemoan.
You had better play cello or the tympani.
In an orchestra there is no baritone.

And if you would play rock or country - even jazz, it's still the same -
For no role for this poor instrument is planned.
You'll only play the masters when transcribed for wind band - it's a shame.
Almost all you'll play is Sousa - never Thus Spake Zarathustra.

Oh there's no baritone in the symphony.
It's the same if you play the saxophone.
If you go to the orchestra then you will see
Lots of violins but not one baritone.



For Christmas In July, I asked Santa for a euphonium. Sadly, he also hasn't a clue what one is! ;D

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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 4

Voting Breakdown

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User Comments

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John Barry - July 25, 2011 - Report this comment
Euphonious.
AFW - July 25, 2011 - Report this comment
Clever parody
SwimPuff165 - September 05, 2021 - Report this comment
Absolutely Melodious

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