Never knew how much it cost me
But a refund's what I want
Ordered finest Scottish salmon
For my uptown 5-star restaurant

They sent me lemurs..in a big cage
Lemurs with their sad, sad eyes
Lemurs!....from the jungle
Lemurs had me quite surprised

Phoned a new wholesaler
"Truffles; twenty pounds"
The van turned up in the morning
And you can guess what they sent around

More freakin' lemursforty seven
Lemurs eating twigs and grass
Lemurs!....can't believe it
Lemurs comin' out my ass!

What to do with all these lemurs?
So I phoned a zoo upstate
They said they don't want no lemurs
All they do is procreate
Romeo loved Juliet,
Michael Jackson loves small boys
Seems nobody's lovin' lemurs
All they do is eat, screw and make noise

A hundred lemursin the kitchen
Lemurs getting on my nerves
Lemurs!....makin' whoopee
On the steaks and the hors doeuvres..

Customers are all complainin'
Finding fur in their desserts
When I tried to move a lemur
Bastard bit me where it hurts!

Bloody lemurs!....can't release 'em
Cannot sell them on ebay
Lemurs!...Cannot train them
I can't even give them away

Now you've listened to my story
Betcha wondrin' what I've done
With over one hundred lemurs
I'll tell you; but don't tell no one

There's no more lemurs...I don't miss 'em
Lemurs have all gone away
Would youlike to try some
Cajun lemur fricassee
Cajun lemur fricassee
Cajun lemur fricassee.