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Song Parodies -> "Old Tan Rubber"

Original Song Title:

"Ol' Man River"

Original Performer:

Paul Robeson

Parody Song Title:

"Old Tan Rubber"

Parody Written by:

Leo Keough

The Lyrics

This will be so much more fun if you read (sing) along with the OS.
Where's the bold man with the zipper frisky
That's the bold man that I used to be
When did he swear it's not worth the struggle
When did his flair turn to apathy

Old tan rubber
That rolled gland cover
It just puts lumps in
My wallet's calfskin
It just gets moldy
It sleeps on hold as it rots

I'm no chance taker
For romance, bought one
I'd stem advancin'
To use precaution
That old tan rubber
It's just so old I forgot

Tuesday eve
I met this dame
Body all shakin'
A rack I'd frame
Both got charged
Six cocktails
A little bit of funk
I began to wail

I got leery
Of sickness thrivin'
Of virus hidden
And feared revivin'
That old tan rubber
It might not hold till I'm done

Parking all night with this miss is risky
Markets all closed till the light of day
Holdin' those oats has me drawn and upset
Frettin' and stressed till my judgment's frayed

Don't much trust
The brand I bought
The use-by date
Has all worn off
S-T-D's
Lend so much dread
And not much hope
When all's been said

Let me not stray on this kissin' mission
Let me hold sway as we bite and toss
Stifle that dream I've been ever hoardin'
That's the old stream I'd be wrong to cross

Old tan rubber
To hold my chubber
It must take some strength
And must take some length
It must get swollen
Yet keep on showin' it's strong

Long old rubber forever sleeps snorin' on

This romance fadin'
With no pants droppin'
This femme gets antsy
Her mood is rotten
My old tan rubber
It just sleeps, old and withdrawn

Long old rubber keeps fearing it's wrong

Unity
We'd best restrain
Oddly, I'm sayin'
We must abstain
Don't get large
Stiff or hale
My little critter's shrunk
And it gets no tail

I'm so bleary
My wick is dryin'
I'm wired and livid
And scared of tryin'
That old tan rubber
I'd best be holdin' till dawn

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Original Song: 
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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 5

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
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 2   0
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 3   0
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 4   0
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 5   5
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 5
 

User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

Old Man Ribber - October 05, 2009 - Report this comment
To ensure proper performance and mileage, rotate your rubber every 5,000 miles. ;D
Timmy1000 - October 05, 2009 - Report this comment
What a "Showboat" you are on this one, Leo. It is funnier with Paul Robeson and the cast singing this. Maybe some schools could use this for their sex-ed classes.
Andy Primus - October 05, 2009 - Report this comment
Poor bloke, lend him your p**** pump and c*** ring
Fiddlegirl - October 05, 2009 - Report this comment
OMG, Leo: Pace- and pitch-perfect throughout. :)
metaphorsbwithu - October 05, 2009 - Report this comment
A real ribbed tickler. 555
alvin - October 06, 2009 - Report this comment
quite the ode...lol

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