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Song Parodies -> "Don’t Put Your Daughter on the Game, Mrs Worthington"

Original Song Title:

"Don't Put Your Daughter on the Stage, Mrs Worthing"

Original Performer:

Noel Coward

Parody Song Title:

"Don’t Put Your Daughter on the Game, Mrs Worthington"

Parody Written by:

Phil Alexander

The Lyrics

The original.. with a "ton" at the end.
Don’t put your daughter on the game, Mrs. Worthington
Don’t put your daughter on the game
The profession is overrated
And the punters may get rough
And admitting the fact she’s good in the sack
That isn’t quite enough
She has huge hands, that will bring tears to the eyes
Of all the guys who see their size, I too would feel the same
Prostitute? Mrs. Worthington, Shoot! Mrs. Worthington
Don’t put your daughter on the game

Regarding your text, Mrs. Worthington
Of Wednesday, the 25th.
Although you're sinking, thinking that money is very tight
I don't think it's alright
With her on the streets at night
It's not that I'm uptight, Mrs. Worthington
But give it up, forthwith:
Her near legality and bisexuality: aren't active enough, attractive enough
To put on a red light

Don’t put your daughter on the game, Mrs. Worthington
Don’t put your daughter on the game
She’s a bit of an ugly duckling, well, more like an ugly duck
And the way her teeth lean, put something between
It'll end up getting stuck
Those are good lungs: on YouTube everybody knows
That golf ball sucked right through the hose went viral, every frame
On her knees, Mrs. Worthington? Jeez! Mrs. Worthington
Don’t put your daughter on the game

Don’t put your daughter on the game, Mrs. Worthington
Don’t put your daughter on the game
Though they said at the school of hard knocks
She was difficult to instruct
And more, on the whole, quite out of control and always being chucked
She’s a nice girl - has no contag-i-ous disease
Yes, she's quite free from STDs, well, any you can name
I'll be blunt, Mrs. Worthington, Don't! Mrs. Worthington
Don’t put your daughter on the game

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Original Song: 
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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 4.0
How Funny: 3.6
Overall Rating: 3.8

Total Votes: 5

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   1
 1
 1
 
 2   0
 1
 0
 
 3   0
 0
 1
 
 4   1
 0
 0
 
 5   3
 3
 3
 

User Comments

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Peregrin - July 18, 2012 - Report this comment
Phil! Don't let's be beastly to the Worthings...! Great idea, although listening to Noel Coward sing (in your words) about texting seemed a tad strange!
Porfle Popnecker - July 18, 2012 - Report this comment
Fun stuff!
Phil Alexander - July 19, 2012 - Report this comment
Thanks P & PP :-)

I did consider "Don't leave your daughter in the pub, Mr Cameron", but it felt too much like picking on an 8-year-old, just because she's the PM's daughter. Which wouldn't really have been fair.
Meriadoc - July 19, 2012 - Report this comment
Thanks for providing the link to the OS - that was entertaining.

Near legality and bisexuality - heh heh...
Phil Alexander - July 20, 2012 - Report this comment
Yes, the OS is kind of funny - well, it's Noel Coward, what would you expect? Coward did add another verse that was even ruder - I was tempted..

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