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Song Parodies -> "Mad Dogs and Englishmen"

Original Song Title:

"Mad Dogs and Englishmen"

Original Performer:

Noel Coward

Parody Song Title:

"Mad Dogs and Englishmen"

Parody Written by:

Poopie Longstocking

The Lyrics

In tropical climes there are certain times of day
When all the citizens go home'n tear their pants off for some groanin'
It's one of the rules that the greatest fools obey
Because the sun is much too public a locale to void one's faecal-violent spray
The natives grieve when the white men leave their huts
Because they're obviously, definitely nuts

Mad dogs and Englishmen poop out in the mid-day sun
The Japanese don't care to, the Chinese wouldn't dare to
Hindus and Argentines poop where they're seen by no one
But Englishmen poop proudly and loudly
In the Philippines they have lovely screens to protect you from the sight
In the Malay States, there are loo's with gates where the Britishers won't shite
In large groups the natives poop where they are seen by no one
But mad dogs and Englishmen poop out in the midday sun

It's such a surprise for the Eastern eyes to see
That when the English take a shite, they're mighty proud to share the sight
When the white man dumps every native comes to see
Because the native people hope he will impale his Anglo arse hole on a tree
It seems such a shame when the English maim the earth
With the piles of what comes from their Anglo girth

Mad dogs and Englishmen poop out in the mid-day sun
The toughest Burmese bandit can never understand it
In Rangoon to poop at noon is just what the natives shun
They close their sphincters right down, and lie down
In a jungle town where the sun beats down to the rage of man and dog
The English dance in their English pants and they dash to dump their log
In Bangkok at twelve o'clock their knickers are not un-done
But mad dogs and Englishmen poop out in the midday sun

Mad dogs and Englishmen poop out in the mid-day sun
The smallest Malay rabbit deplores this foolish habit
In Hong Kong they strike a gong and fire off a noonday gun
To reprimand each inmate who poops late
In the mangrove swamps where the python romps no one pees from twelve till two
Even caribous lie around and snooze, for it's not the time to poo
In Bengal to move a bowel is seldom ever done
But mad dogs and Englishmen poop out in the midday sun

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Matches Pace of
Original Song: 
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Voting Results

Pacing: 4.4
How Funny: 4.0
Overall Rating: 4.0

Total Votes: 8

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   1
 2   0
 3   0
 4   1
 5   6

User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

Agrimorfee - March 22, 2005 - Report this comment
This was actually funny instead of gross, Poopster. I could picture Eric Idle singing this in his best Noel Coward impression, a la "Meaning of Life".555
Dumb Ass Kid - March 22, 2005 - Report this comment
Just exactly how old are you, Longstocking? 5?...
Agrimorfee - March 22, 2005 - Report this comment
Seriously, Dumb Ass, do you think a 5 year old could pen such poetry as "In the Malay States, there are loo's with gates where the Britishers won't shite" ? (or know what the meaning of foetid is?) :D
John Barry - March 22, 2005 - Report this comment
DAK (and others easily affronted), don't get dung up on the subject matter and focus on the poetry, as Agrimorfee notes. If only you and I could write this well and cleverly.
Stuart McArthur - March 22, 2005 - Report this comment
I'm with you, John

btw - those not easily affronted, and I speak on behalf of Luke and myself, check out "Little Britain" if it ever arrives over there - or if they ALLOW it to air (maybe HBO) - it's got all of Australia hooked, and it's grosser than Poopie
Dumb Ass Kid - March 23, 2005 - Report this comment
Yes, very mature subject matter. I couldn't give a toss about poetry or what children can or cannot pen. My point is that this infantile rubbish shouldn't even be on here, and you defending 'Poopie Longstocking' isn't helping matters
Dumb Ass Kid - March 24, 2005 - Report this comment
You're all idiots. Can't you see - Pippa Logstrimmer is giving everybody 5-5-5, so that they'll do the same for her? If you're defending this rubbish so heavily, she's obviously tried it on you. And for that, you are a moron
MrMacphisto - March 25, 2005 - Report this comment
DAK... Let me ask you something... Why do you care so much if Poopie writes this stuff? There are certain writers I won't name on this site that I think are rather bad, but I don't harass them about it. If you don't like songs about poop, just avoid them. I admit that Poopie seems a bit obsessive over feces, but he/she writes some clever phrases into these songs. I thought this one was pretty funny, even if it was gross. ...And about the ratings thing, why does it matter? Do you get a cookie, if you get high ratings here? If so, I wanna know about it.
Phil Alexander - March 25, 2005 - Report this comment
I'm impressed, if a little disappointed in patches: this was remarkably good (and if I'm not mistaken the only other full parody to this song on amiright), but suffered in places from basically repeating the original lines.

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