-> "Lincoln vs. Lori (Fixed Version; Now Updated)"
Original Song Title:
"Epic Rap Battles of History"
Parody Song Title:
"Lincoln vs. Lori (Fixed Version; Now Updated)"
Parody Written by:
This is one big sister that you may survive
I'll beat you at video games, hug you then leave you alone
You'll be good at playing golf some day, I said so girl
But for now, just stick to editing that blog post
I'll respect your privacy, while staying out of your precious bedroom
Then talk on your cell phone your middle name is Marie
I can explain you're angry just from the text messages I'm reading
You should start leaving, look, your hairline's already retreating
Lincoln? Who's that? No brother wants two twits
My sisters know your phone is just the place that sibling battles live
Dude you're really huge on golf, you got a great career
But remember you got famous off of my idea
The bathroom is where your idea to start with, that's no secret
But I'm the one who had the brains to play video games
Look at you or ask me just explain to you what I see
You're a short wearing sister, I'll call you my best friend
I laughed at your silly antics and you became a good sister
Take my video games away, you look more like Bette Midler
You blond haired, clean face, good looking girl
You and Luna can both suck my cupcake!
You're taller than I am but you look up to me
The girl who got you your first job in comedy
I wrote your best verses for you, let you scream in the background
You've got as much music talent as Luna
You? A musician? Eh, that's kinda stretching
You wrote eighty-seven songs with the same chord progression
You look like a cool girl, where'd you even come from?
It's like I'm battle rapping a skinny version of Lisa
I'm gonna turn you into a human pretzel
You were nothing before you rode up in my dad's vanzilla
"Not only are you not gonna quit being a pest Lori
You're gonna make me your sister, you're gonna make me better
You're gonna kick me out of your precious bedroom"
Lori: [plucking nose hairs while talking to Bobby] "If you want our couple name to be Lobby, you're going to have to show a little-" [sees something on the floor] "What's this? Why Lori is the worst sister ever? [fuming] Bobby, I gotta go. I'm about to turn Lincoln into a human pretzel!" [reveals the letter to Lincoln and is enraged] "LINCOLN! WHAT IS THIS?!"
Lincoln: "Well, it's time to do the official dance of the Loud House: the Running Man!" [puts on his new game goggles and starts dancing away from Lori's wrath.]
Lori: "WHEN I GET MY HANDS ON YOU, I'M GONNA-"
(Lori: [takes away Lincoln's game] AND NO VIDEO GAMES!)
Rap Battles of History!
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