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Song Parodies -> "Hard Lines (Tribute to O. Nash)"
Original Song Title:
"Trees"
Original Performer:
Nelson Eddy
Parody Song Title:
"Hard Lines (Tribute to O. Nash)"
Parody Written by:
Giorgio Coniglio's Grandson
The Lyrics
Joyce Kilmer's poem "Trees" was set to music in 1914, and has been performed by many artists. Ogden Nash briefly satirized Kilmer's poem in his well-known "Song of the Open Road". Of Nash's hundreds of humorous poems (as per "The Best of Ogden Nash" by Linell Nash Smith, 2007), some are begging to be sung, but they have not previously been set to music. "Hard Lines" was the title of an earlier book of Nash's poems.
HARD LINES, poetic parody by Giorgio Coniglio to the tune of "Trees"
I feel unhappy when I'm near
A poem sappy as these here.
I sing to honor Ogden Nash,
Whose spoof portrayed a billboard crash.
- His verse that's stood the test of time
Like Kilmer's used a simple rhyme.
No flashiness or trashiness
Rich, rare, rash ogdenashiness *
Indeed the march of time refines
The wisdom in these classic lines
"The cow is of the bovine ilk
One end is moo, the other, milk"
* this rhyming couplet was modified from a farewell tribute to Nash by Morris Bishop, 1971.
THE OYSTER, and THE CENTIPEDE, poems by O. Nash set to the tune of "Trees".
The oyster's a confusing suitor
It's masc., and fem., and even neuter.
But whether husband, pal or wife,
It leads a painless sort of life.
I'd like to be an oyster, say
In August, June, July or May.
I objurgate the centipede,
A bug we do not really need.
At sleepy-time he beats a path
Straight to the bedroom or the bath.
You always wallop where he's not,
Or if he is, he makes a spot.
THE TERMITE, THE FLY, and THE PRAYING MANTIS, poems by O. Nash set to the tune of "Trees"
Some primal termite knocked on wood
And tasted it, and found it good.
And that is why your Cousin May
Fell through the parlor floor today.
God in his wisdom made the fly
And then forgot to tell us why.
From whence arrived the praying mantis?
From outer space or lost Atlantis?
I glimpse the grim green metal mug
That masks this pseudo-saintly bug,
Orthopterous, also carnivorous
And faintly whisper, Lord deliver us.
THE GIRAFFE, poem by O. Nash set to the tune of "Trees" (with ukulele chords)
[C] I beg you, children, do not [Dm] laugh
[Fm] When you survey the tall gi[C7]raffe [C9]
[F] It's hardly [F#dim7]sporting to at[C]tack
[C7] A beast that cannot answer [F] back
Now [Bm7] you and [C] I have shorter [D7] necks,
[G7] But we can [Em] chant of gin and [C] sex.
[C] He has a trumpet for a [Dm] throat
[Fm] And cannot blow a single [C7] note.
[F] It isn't [F#dim7] that his voice he hoards [C]
[C7] He hasn't any vocal [F] cords.
[Fm] I wish for [C] him, and [F#dim7] for his [D7] wife
[Bb9] A volu[Dm7]ble gir[G7] after[C] life.
I feel unhappy when I'm near
A poem sappy as these here.
I sing to honor Ogden Nash,
Whose spoof portrayed a billboard crash.
- His verse that's stood the test of time
Like Kilmer's used a simple rhyme.
No flashiness or trashiness
Rich, rare, rash ogdenashiness *
Indeed the march of time refines
The wisdom in these classic lines
"The cow is of the bovine ilk
One end is moo, the other, milk"
* this rhyming couplet was modified from a farewell tribute to Nash by Morris Bishop, 1971.
THE OYSTER, and THE CENTIPEDE, poems by O. Nash set to the tune of "Trees".
The oyster's a confusing suitor
It's masc., and fem., and even neuter.
But whether husband, pal or wife,
It leads a painless sort of life.
I'd like to be an oyster, say
In August, June, July or May.
I objurgate the centipede,
A bug we do not really need.
At sleepy-time he beats a path
Straight to the bedroom or the bath.
You always wallop where he's not,
Or if he is, he makes a spot.
THE TERMITE, THE FLY, and THE PRAYING MANTIS, poems by O. Nash set to the tune of "Trees"
Some primal termite knocked on wood
And tasted it, and found it good.
And that is why your Cousin May
Fell through the parlor floor today.
God in his wisdom made the fly
And then forgot to tell us why.
From whence arrived the praying mantis?
From outer space or lost Atlantis?
I glimpse the grim green metal mug
That masks this pseudo-saintly bug,
Orthopterous, also carnivorous
And faintly whisper, Lord deliver us.
THE GIRAFFE, poem by O. Nash set to the tune of "Trees" (with ukulele chords)
[C] I beg you, children, do not [Dm] laugh
[Fm] When you survey the tall gi[C7]raffe [C9]
[F] It's hardly [F#dim7]sporting to at[C]tack
[C7] A beast that cannot answer [F] back
Now [Bm7] you and [C] I have shorter [D7] necks,
[G7] But we can [Em] chant of gin and [C] sex.
[C] He has a trumpet for a [Dm] throat
[Fm] And cannot blow a single [C7] note.
[F] It isn't [F#dim7] that his voice he hoards [C]
[C7] He hasn't any vocal [F] cords.
[Fm] I wish for [C] him, and [F#dim7] for his [D7] wife
[Bb9] A volu[Dm7]ble gir[G7] after[C] life.
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| 5 | 8 | 8 | 8 |
User Comments
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I liked this. I don't know why, but I do. 555! Btw, the weird mantis I posted the other day was the Devil's Flower Mantis that indeed looks alien! Being large, it can snag and does fight small birds as food! Regarding the giraffe here, my sister used to collect them. They annoyed me so much that I looked up their supposed symbolic meaning. It represents intuition! Yes, I know... WTF?
Simple ans silly, Nash has always been a delight for me. I recognize the centipede, cow, and giraffe. Thanks for the memories. 5s.
From wasp to WASP in just two days! How agile! I no longer feel waspish.
I think that I shall never glance
At poems lovelier than plants...
At poems lovelier than plants...
That could be turned political:
I think the we may never see
A return to true Democracy
I think the we may never see
A return to true Democracy
/I wish that authors had misplaced/ Their poems whose meter is mis-paced/ In fact, unless the cadence works/ Such fruity verse is just for jerks./
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