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Song Parodies -> "This Looks Nasty"
Original Song Title:
"I Feel Pretty"
Original Performer:
Natalie Wood in 'West Side Story'
Parody Song Title:
"This Looks Nasty"
Parody Written by:
David Chrenko
The Lyrics
This is an ode to the happy hunting ground of the American senior citizen - the buffet-style cafateria.
This looks nasty . . . This looks nasty.
It's too nasty . . . to call it a meal.
And the broccoli . . . hasn't any vegetable appeal.
This smells rotten . . . Oh, so rotten,
And the salad's so old - it draws flies.
Red potatoes - that are blue-er than Iowa skies.
What's that graying drek on the platter there?
What could this mystery meat be?
Doesn't look like ham, doesn't look like lamb,
Doesn't look like beef, Doesn't look like meat!
This looks nasty . . . Really nasty.
You could shingle a roof with the cheese.
Is that yogurt? - I do suspect that somebody sneezed.
Fruit feels plastic - It's bombastic
And the cola's as flat as the plains,
Bread with butter - could be rubber mixed with unknown grains.
See the serving maids with buns in their hair.
What could they be serving to me?
Spooning out the slop - Hear it go ka-plop,
Never mop it up.
But, I'm hungry . . . Oh, so hungry.
Though the pizza is grungy and brown,
I'm too hungry . . .- I'll simply hold my nose, and gulp down
Oh, how merry - dysentery!
And the cook swears it was fresh last fall.
I must hurry- Exuse me while I run to the john. . . . .
(Sorry, but when ya gotta go, rhyming's the least of your worries)
It's too nasty . . . to call it a meal.
And the broccoli . . . hasn't any vegetable appeal.
This smells rotten . . . Oh, so rotten,
And the salad's so old - it draws flies.
Red potatoes - that are blue-er than Iowa skies.
What's that graying drek on the platter there?
What could this mystery meat be?
Doesn't look like ham, doesn't look like lamb,
Doesn't look like beef, Doesn't look like meat!
This looks nasty . . . Really nasty.
You could shingle a roof with the cheese.
Is that yogurt? - I do suspect that somebody sneezed.
Fruit feels plastic - It's bombastic
And the cola's as flat as the plains,
Bread with butter - could be rubber mixed with unknown grains.
See the serving maids with buns in their hair.
What could they be serving to me?
Spooning out the slop - Hear it go ka-plop,
Never mop it up.
But, I'm hungry . . . Oh, so hungry.
Though the pizza is grungy and brown,
I'm too hungry . . .- I'll simply hold my nose, and gulp down
Oh, how merry - dysentery!
And the cook swears it was fresh last fall.
I must hurry- Exuse me while I run to the john. . . . .
(Sorry, but when ya gotta go, rhyming's the least of your worries)
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| 5 | 3 | 4 | 3 |
User Comments
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"What’s that graying drek on the platter there?"
Cool vocabulary - don't hear the word "drek" very often - 555.
Cool vocabulary - don't hear the word "drek" very often - 555.
Good metaphors - excellent parody.
I may throw up! Good job!
I changed my mind about having lunch but laughed!
Bleh (food, not parody...lol) Good job!
yes
I must say, for accuracy's sake, that I laughed so hard at this one, I ended up spraying my computer screen. After all, as a foodie, I find that most ordinary people actually enjoy worse horrors--italicize actually and worse. Bravo!
I grew up largely in the '70s, so before the Buffet phenom my dad used to take us to the Smorgasbord- remember those? Then, the old style cafeteria buffets for $3! My first self-serve Buffet was Chinese. Weird place. You served yourself, but a hostess would bring drinks and scones! My brother and I used to prefer Herfy's or Burger Chef which later became part of Hardee's. Today, it's Hometown or Golden Corral.
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